Sir, may I suggest that if you’d been issued a mustache as spectacular as Roar Strand’s, these mechanical failures might not have occurred?

Also: Caltech is nerdy. MIT is nerdy. Harvey Mudd is nerdy. Stanford is a finishing school for the Organization Kid scions of West Coast wealth and the higher-achieving members of the Mainland Chinese princeling class. (The middling ones go to USC.)

Brakes are applied.

“This warranty does not cover loss directly or indirectly caused by nuclear fuel, or from any nuclear waste from the combustion of nuclear fuel.” Imagine that conversation. “I’m sorry Mr. DeMuro, but we can’t authorize your heater hose repair. It failed due to the nuclear holocaust that has currently enslaved the…

A million times this, I can live with the range for a daily commuter, but I don’t want a smug eco-mobile.

People that live in Indiana are terrifying in general.

If you don’t have a full body dryer, you aren’t living.

Your playing Beer Pong with a corpse, I’m sure you’re not above getting teenage african boys drunk.

Every time a member at my church goes in for surgery or a medical treatment, the first thing we do is pray for the hands of the doctor, nurses and medical staff. Miracles are worked through their hands, denying the miraculousness of modern medicine is ludacris.

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

Cena is also an incredibly intelligent person outside of the ring. The man has been teaching himself Mandarin because he understands how big of a market/population/world influencer China is.

I would have no issues with the guy who holds the Make-a-Wish foundation record running for president.

I knew things were bad when you, the man who owns 4 Jeeps, bought that Honda Accord as your winter car.

go for a part fuckin hell. put the driveshaft in the bed kick it in 4 hi and drive away as a fwd

Why do I love my car?

i have the weirdest boner right now

Yeah, needs a “after 50 games...” caveat, or whatever it would be.

Option 3 is to find the Alpha car in the parking lot first thing, and then crash into it, just beat the hell out of it...then the other cars know to respect you.

Kiwi’s also lay eggs that are like 50% the size of an adult. So they are small, flightless, but with enormous cloacas (cloacae? cloacapi? who knows).

My daddy taught me how to drive a stick when I was five. He took me out to the lake, threw me in.....oh no, wait. That was swimming. It was actually pretty easy once I got out of the burlap sack.