ilikepooping
I like pooping.
ilikepooping

> Black widow spiders may be small

> at the hands of white supremacist

please don’t fuck luke heimlich.

four if you count the consumption of animal species that the western diet does not generally engage in.

“blessed”

flagrant false advertising, man

I like those emails. direct, to the point, tells me what I need to know.

in other news FUCK THAT FUCKING GUY

my two rules of flying:

what if I don’t enjoy tennis?

What the seemingly meaningless exchange means is we can relax. The person we’re inches away from for the afternoon is not dangerous.

and that’s precisely why we need to ignore him.  shut off his twitter account, etc.

if we give him a 100% media blockout, he will. no twitter. no one showing up to his press conferences. when he writes an executive order, no one shows up to put it into the book of laws.

I used to be able to type 90wpm on a blackberry. now, with autocorrect on or off (it’s actually about the same due to the miscorrects) I struggle to break 25. this is with 5 years of owning a smartphone.

but don’t ask me what I think of you. I might not give the answer that you want me to.

Playskool’s crayons were the only major brand that contained traces of asbestos.

am I the only one who strongly, strongly dislikes one-touch windows? I want them lowered or raised to a very specific position (think “suck an insect out”, so 3/4 inch below completely closed) and the one-touch stuff totally destroys my ability to do that.

criminal possession of a controlled substance in the 7th degree.

my birthday: 5-18-04. I watched from inning 2 on at a bar. one of my best sports memories.