My parents know who RuPaul is. They sure as shit don't know who Devine is.

Based on my own research, I have found that drinking whiskey and coke makes people drink way too much and have terrible hangovers, but drinking manhattans keeps you just the right amount of drunk.

Is this stuff at all like that "Joose" stuff I bought in a bad neighborhood? that stuff tasted like purple. Not grape, purple.

Litter is my enemy. I want to eat it's children.

So IFC plays commercials now and Time Warner still wants me to pay extra to have the channel? Somebody's a fucking cock here but I can't decide who.

I tipped a guy $3 for delivering a $5.25 sandwich from across the street this weekend. I was pretty drunk though.

Nadirs
You're seriously just shoehorning the word "nadir" into every article as a "fuck you" to the people who complained about it a while back, right?

This isn't really the advertiser's fault, but couldn't stock photographers or the models they hire spend two seconds with one of those headsets on so that they at least look like they've ever used one? I've been subjected to about fifty million ads and/or splash screens for call center equipment and software, and…

This movie Antichrist has the Green Goblin in it! I bet it's awesome!

Mix a little mayo up with some Inglehoff Honey Mustard and you've got yourself a pretty fucking kickass dipping sauce for your nuggets and what-have-yous.

I wouldn't call having the TV on Comedy Central at any one of 12 different daily airings "going out of your way." I think this show is a lot more enjoyable if you consciously try not to watch every episode and just catch it when you're bored or drunk, or both.

I don't understand why anyone likes the Wire or the Shield. They all just seem like derivatives of Hill Street Blues and Dragnet.

Juan, you are not the first to say that. I like Tosh quite a bit and I can totally see why someone wouldn't like him. I think I like the show because I really liked his stand-up act, and it's a similar sensibility.

What Else Is On? gets my vote as well.

My kid eats peanut butter every day, and now he's failing band class. I say we ban this nutty menace once and for all!

I don't think you're thinking that through correctly.

I think my last post was misunderstood. I said he was in TWO scenes, the brownie scene and the ending rooftop scene.

Works consistently for 12-18 months.

Exploding Motorcycle Ball starring Snooki. Costarring razor-blade wrapped pipe bomb.

Well, this musical cost $65 million motherfucking wing-wangs. How else are you going to make that kind of mazuma back?