It's a lesson everyone must learn eventually.

I'd be happier WITH the dollar.

New York pizza sucks. If you insist that what I'm eating isn't pizza, then I'll go ahead and say my "flat bread sauce and cheese" food item tastes better than your New York pizza.

He talk funny like one a dem fer'ner types.

Did you hear this? Did you hear this?

What the fuck is up with Seinfeld? Does Leno let him drive his cars or something?

Don't you mean "doesn't do s&*t"?

Yeah, like Kevin Nealon's Brent Mussberger where he just held his eyes back with his fingers like an 8-year-old doing a chinese guy.

"Uday"?

Bitch, you don't even have a chance with Brittany Murphy.

My guess is it's corporate marketing bullshit. In the same way people are totally convinced that Coke and Pepsi taste totally different, people who watch the commercial will be convinced that the new pizza is actually different than the old pizza.

According to Dan Savage this week, putting Ben-Gay on your balls doesn't reduce your fertility. Unfortunately.

Adolph, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I doubt what you're saying is true. I know, I know, if we can't trust internet commentators, what can we trust?

That's why Zimmern drives me nuts. In some episodes he goes to the same places Bourdain has already been and is totally grossed out by shit that Bourdain stuffed in his face without batting an eyebrow.

There was a definitely line, like maybe between seasons 3 and 4, where it started to seem like they got their hands on After Effects and were determined to use it in every episode. They kept inserting fake explosions and shit.

Bobby, you should get back to work at Chili's, you hack.

Reading books is badass now? Awesome. I'm finally cool.

I thought it was delightful. She seems a little hippy-dippy like a lot of people in the southwest US, but it wasn't grating at all, surprisingly.

YOUSE GUYS IS FANCYPANTS, ALL OF YOUSE!

You mean lead?