He'll fit spray-on ab consultant somewhere in there too.

I remember liking Bingo when I was a kid. I was a pretty fucked up kid though.

She tried that "regular folks" bullshit, but she's been watching E! and realizes that now the plebians want to worship retarded rich people with no talent. She sees her in and she takes it.

I'm going to write a song about my favorite shoe brand "Whatever's On The Discount Rack At Target".

Because when an actress is only famous for being physically attractive, when she's old and ugly we have to pretend that she has always been talented or we look sexist.

It's been a long time since I read it, but it seemed to have more of a "once upon a time.." kind of vibe to it than the other books.

HEY EVERYBODY, LET'S ALL GET HIGH!

Speaking of which, what's with the fatties and uggos joining gyms theses days? Here I am risking life and limb by rubbernecking on my way home from work, just hoping to catch a glimpse of a nice ass in gym shorts and I'm rewarded with backfat and cellulite.

What about those of us who never join a gym, but like to slow down as we drive by to ogle any fit hotties walking in or out?

Shit Shit

Hey, you take what comes.

Is this thread going to devolve into "Your mom is so fat…" jokes?

It's easier to hide your tears and self-loathing going through the drivethru.

Taco Bell reminds me of that David Cross bit about how people in his hometown were morbidly obese but malnourished at the same time.

And I used to eat fast food all the time because my kids love McDonalds chicken nuggets, but once I saw an article about how much fucking sodium is in fast food I dropped it to about once a year. Jasons Deli moved in 5 minutes away and I can feed me and my two kids healthy organic food for less than what I used to pay…

This is way down the line already, but I have to mention that Taco Bell put the cheese on the outside a long time ago. I don't remember the name but it's out there. They just melted some cheese on the outside of a burrito and gave it a new name.

I'm cautiously pooptimistic.

Isn't the battle at the end of The Hobbit pretty badass? Like with three or four armies and dragons and shit?

A good barfcry from time to time does a person good.

I thought "Olive Garden" was a euphemism for blasting diarrhea.