As fun as it is watching a sentient sebaceous cyst and an amoral skin lesion take turns throwing one another underneath busloads of racist yokels, it’s more fun to spend a bomb cyclone with a giant sheepdog.

You really think I’m going to have a serious discussion with you? I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear, but I don’t fuck with you. Find someone else to fight with.

Dear Sisters,

You know what sucks? Besides the obvious. That even if trump gets kicked out of office and publicly ruined, all this shit has been put out there and exposed for the world to see. If the world was a neighborhood, we’re the family whose dad went outside jerked himself off and then took a huge dump on his next door…

It’s telling that he refers to himself as the president of the Republicans.

It’s covered elsewhere in the day.

Speaking of vacations—President Trump loves going to Mar-a-Lago to play golf

It’s a really awkward, unfortunate length. Kind of like her marriage.

Ok but no matter who Meghan decides to marry she’s going to encounter racism so this argument is pretty fucked up. All white people have benefitted from white supremacy. And even if Megan married a person of color she still lives in a world where she’s going to have white coworkers, white people who work in customer…

Thank you. I’m sick and tired of defenders saying that the Royal family only uses private money today and doesn’t live off the public dime. (Anymore.)

Seriously. And now she’s claiming the whole “episode” distressed *her*?? Ugh she can go fuck off.

I hope she has to curtsy to Meghan once she’s married to Harry.

She knew exactly what the fuck she was doing.

This and the US gymnastics sex abuse are the latest examples of why I give the side eye to organizations that are for and comprised of women but have men in most positions of power.

I am so proud of my hometown - or at least the people who worked very hard to make this happen. The racists who are pissed off can just move. Most of them already have.

The biscuit boat on the dank gravy river to hell serves up hot peppery goodness 24/7.

Well great, now I just want gravy. And Whataburger doesn’t start serving biscuits and gravy for another 2 hours.

Weed will officially be legalized in Canada in July 2017

It still really fucking distresses me that Trump is forever going to be memorialized in the Hall of Presidents. That’s a petty and small thing compared to all of the other horrors that he’s inflicted on us in the past 11 months, yet it still cuts me deeply.

What kind of moron uses "You have pubic hair" as a putdown?