You know, I’ve always said that trying to convince strangers on the internet that your life is awesome is the surest sign of a fulfilled, well-adjusted person.

That caption is basically what came to mind the first time I saw this photo.

Glad you were able to get that off your chest.

I was thinking the same thing. Are those supposed to be fingers wrapping around the globe?

I like how you put two periods at the end of the first sentence and none at the end of the second sentence. Proper punctuation is for socialists.

“Stop taking children from their parents, locking them in cages, and forcing them through court hearings” is a solution, dipshit.

This is the correct take.

According to my uncle, who used to do that very thing, it’s called an “American taco.”

There are far better ways to make that point than retweeting a shitty YouTube conspiracy video.

“What they did to Sarah...I would’ve walked out.”

What does wanting a law to be “beautiful” even mean?

That’s the comment I was looking for.

It was poorly worded/explained, but I think his point was that polar bears and brown bears, while related, are different species, while different breeds of domesticated dogs are still members of the same species.

A suit jacket with shorts? The real GOAT would never wear anything that ridiculous.

What he did, in fact, looked so much like a guy trying to kill the clock that I briefly had a “Holy shit, they actually did it” moment...and then I saw LeBron standing there looking like the owner of a puppy that won’t stop pissing in the damn house. The only other explanation is that he thought there a was a lot more…

I’m glad to see other people sharing my (possibly irrational but I don’t really think so) hatred of Maroon 5.

I was worried that millions of these had become sentient:

Yeah, you know, kinda like when you get tired of regular ice cream toppings so you say “hmm, maybe I’ll try these shards of broken glass soaked in antifreeze instead, that’ll really shake things up.”