I read a blind item about Alex Pettyfer once that he’s an abusive asshole and when he and Dianna Agron broke up she moved into a shitty hotel under a false name because she was afraid of him. Dude is a real dickbag.

I didn’t set up any false equivalency. I responded to a poster who had a sad story with a similar sad/happy story. I know they aren’t all the same.

I read a “success story” essay written by a father who had adopted a boy with attachment disorder. Their son bonded with them and was no longer a danger after something like ten years of having to hire bodyguards to keep the family safe from him. Almost no one I know would have the resources to do that.

I love cuddling with my son and reading to him, but I think it looks like they were trying to do their Christmas card photo or something, and I think some strange choices were made if that is the case. If this is just a random candid, fine. But if any planning went into this, it’s a weird wardrobe choice for her and…

She does, but that is a weirdass picture.

Now I can’t stop singing “Hello Kevin Federliiiiine!”

I saw an author once who had brown hair with fuchsia streaks and she said that she did it because she started going grey really young, so she dies it fuchsia and it only shows up on the grey.

Why in the fuck would he say that even if you guys weren’t native? Just like, why the fuck would anyone say that ever?

Fucking hell.

Yeah, I think all these live musical event things are dumb and have never watched one, but Aaron Tveit might get me to tune in...

Yikes.

When I was going to start my first job I told my mom I was nervous, and she said, “Your aunt and I have a rule: If you don’t cry in the first two weeks you’ll never make it.” I didn’t believe her, so she made me call my aunt and ask what their new job rule was, and my aunt said, “What? You mean crying in the…

Oh! I forgot about this one!

Me too! I remember watching House of Cards and being like, who is that sexy man... oh my god, it’s that uptight prosecutor dude from Law & Order UK. I love him so much.

We didn’t have the internet in school (or most homes) when I was in elementary school, but in 5th or 6th grade our favorite library time activity was looking up ‘sex’ and other dirty words in the big Oxford dictionary. It did not teach us anything about what sex actually was.

I once knew a really really horrible person named Ange. I hadn’t seen her in a few years when one of my friends who didn’t really know her told me that, based on a couple things she had seen on facebook, she thought Ange had breast cancer. Immediately, without even thinking, I said, “She’s probably faking it.”

It’s only a sandwich if you make a “hot dog sandwich,” in which you take two hot dogs, cut them in half lengthwise and widthwise, broil them, and put them between two pieces of white bread. Signed, My Mother

I had hyperemesis gravidarum, and one day a trying to be helpful friend brought me saltines and ginger ale, and I, being a bitch, said, “Thanks. I throw those up every morning.”

That’s also a scene from High Fidelity (the book, I haven’t seen the movie). The character says that sometimes he wishes he could go back there because the tattoo artist would be able to tell him in thirty seconds if a girl was worth getting a tattoo for.

I was only going to hyphenate because I thought it would make my husband happy, but then it turned out he didn’t really care and I am really lazy. So I didn’t change my name and our kid has his last name, and I am not particular about what people call me. Unless it is Mrs. John Smith and then I go Hulk-smash. The…