I actually have a ring kind of like that, only it is two dolphins around a blue topaz, and my grandma gave it to me when I was 5 for some reason. I still have it (but it is too tiny to wear), and if I ever have a daughter I’ll give it to her.

He’s rumored to be the comedian who traps female comedians in hotel rooms and masturbates in front of them. But just generally, I think the way he talked about his wife in his stand up when he was married was awful and I don’t want anyone talking about the lovely Amy like that.

Ew... Why would you want anyone you like to be with Louis C.K.?

I haven’t seen Girls, and I only saw about three seconds of Peter Pan, so for me it is definitely her super annoying perfect privileged white girl face.

My SIL married a guy whose parents own a cattle ranch. She wore cowboy boots. At the wedding his mom said to me, “All three of my daughters-in-law have worn cowboy boots with their gowns. [Heavy sigh] I don’t why.” (None of the weddings were held on the ranch. They were all in the girls’ respective hometowns.)

I was talking to a friend once and said something about the Sol LeWit quote, “Learn to say fuck you to the world every now and then...” and how it was helpful for me, and he was just like, “When have you ever needed prompting to say Fuck you to anyone?”

I actually love that episode. Shirley Henderson playing the tambourine and singing “Brand New Key” is so delightful I don’t care about the ending. And I liked seeing the group of misfits trying to make sense of their encounters with the Doctor and then having to deal with a weird situation on their own.

You made me google, and holy fuck, yes he is

I tried to explain baseball to a Frenchwoman once. It didn’t work. Also, we were at a baseball game at the time, so I was just trying to explain exactly what she was seeing. It still didn’t work.

Does anyone else have this situation? We get free HBO Go with our internet, but it only works on our home network. If I’m at my parents’ house, I can’t even access it on my laptop, which sucks. I can’t share my password with anybody.

I had a roommate in college who had never had sex ed. Her mom sent a note and she went to the library for every sex education class she ever had, all the way through high school. Apparently her mom would review the materials in advance, and there was always a diagram of the male anatomy, and she “didn’t need to see…

It took me a really long time to stop taking out my phone to text my brother after he died. It’s so hard when there’s one person you always talked to about a given subject and then they’re just gone.

Well, now Google will forever know that searched for Robert Pattinson’s nipples. I hope you’re pleased with yourself.

The first time I ever read Deadspin was the night before my brother died, almost exactly three years ago. He had cancer, and it was clear that he wouldn’t last much longer, so I told him he was the best brother anyone could ever ask for and I drove home and put my baby to sleep and opened up my laptop and found myself…

I have a three year old boy, and I am so sick of wiping his ass, so I asked my mom when he’d be able to wipe his own butt, and she said, “Based on your brother’s underwear, when he’s 25.” Thanks, Mom!

I actually like Giada, but in college one of my roommates had her cookbook and one night one of our guy friends flipped through it and asked, “Why are her boobs in every picture?”

Yeah. The only one I watch is Vikings, but they also have dramas about Revolutionary War spies and Texas and one about the Bible.

I read that, and was like, how do you even fall onto a grill there and then thought, Isn’t she broke all the time? Maybe it was a ‘slip and fall’ con...

I was kind of all set to be mad about it, but when I read the exact comparison he made, I was like, that actually makes sense. When you’re pregnant, people really do treat you as a public commodity, and I can see fame being the same way.

Xander is the fucking worst