So she’s going to call out Trump if he does or says something she doesn’t agree with? Has she not seen the way he reacts to anyone that has said anything remotely unfavorable about him? Especially if it’s a woman saying it? God, I really hope that happens. Her brain implosion is going to create the first ever White…

“If these girls spend their free time playing a sport that doesn’t allow the use of theirs hands or arms they’ll never develop the strength to push vacuum cleaners, carry babies or give proper foot rubs. As a team, we decided we wouldn’t be an accessory to these girls growing up lacking the forearm stamina needed to…

Does anyone else think “Can’t Stop the Feeling” is just a Great Value brand version of “Happy”? Which is also a terrible song.

Why bother listing all those reasons when he could’ve just said “I hate Hillary Clinton so much that I’m willing to vote for the guy that called my wife ugly because I’m fucking spineless and unprincipled.”?

Getting beaten up with a pillow soaked in tears? Looks like I just found my new favorite fetish.

This guy is so awful and lame that despite being British he should be banned from ever wearing Fred Perry Shirts for the rest of his life.

This is why I watch the other football.

This pretty much sums up the problem. Ignorance of the past coupled with an urgency to forget all the nasty bits.

Trump supporters: “WHAT PART OF ‘I LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!?!?!”

My favorite part of ‘The Martian’ was Donald Glover’s decision to play his character like a slightly more animated Abed.

Every year in San Diego we have an event called Taco Fest. It’s held at a park in a recently gentrified neighborhood which was mostly home to Working Class Latino and black families.

Guess I’m the only one that gets up after the appropriate amount of cuddle or recovery time has passed (depending on whether it’s a one-nighter or sex w/ the GF) and says “You want some water?” followed by “Round 2? Actually...give me, like, 5 more minutes.”

I live 5blocks away from where the proposed stadium would be built. I’d be worried about the increase of traffic and rent if I didn’t know this city is only capable of building condos no one can afford.

ASSHOLE #1 IN BAND: “You guys, I think we should, like, practice and maybe, idunno....try to evolve musica-”

If The Onion doesn’t write an article titled ‘Man physically unable to do two push ups in a row wishes best player in the world would’ve just played better’ by tomorrow they need to hire me ASAP.

So ‘Downward Dog’ is basically “Dog with a Blog’ for adults.

Completely unrelated, but I’m still upset about the London Olympic opening ceremony. Not one single scantily clad woman being chased by a horny old man to the tune of ‘Yakety Sax.’

“....it’s probably time for Bernie to get the fuck out of the way before Nadering all over this 2016 election.”

Lee fought during the Mexican-American War (y’know, killing Mexicans and stuff) but yeah I’m sure the Rednecks who want to keep the name are totes doing it for completely non-redneck reasons.

I tell you I’m shocked and saddened that no one suggested ‘The Austin School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too So They Can Escape Texas and Never Have to Deal With Rednecks Who are Still Butthurt About Losing The Civil War’