“Oh shit, there’s stickers!”

Untrue.

Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I’d like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you but I think you’d be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither.…

What do you think is the worst vegetable? I say onions. I’ve never eaten something and said “You know what? That could’ve used onions. That would’ve really made it better.” They could disappear of the face of the Earth and I wouldn’t care or notice.

Errm, his name is Sadio Manè there guys.

The ‘Harry Kane tap-ins’ shade was the highest of quality.

I was still a little weary of my phone being correct, but I knew WITHOUT A DOUBT that the season had started when I saw Walcott fuck up a penalty.

You must have some reasonably sane drivers on your commute. If I tried leaving a gap that large between me and the next guy, 5-7 cars would immediately pass and merge into the space.

This is the best take this site has ever had. EVER.

Goodell quickly noted that as it was not Williams’ birthday month, such decorations were a violation of NFL protocol. He fined Williams $10,000, saying Williams is allowed to celebrate in the appropriate month, as long as it is in a way that may be monetized by the NFL. Goodell wished Williams well and said to say…

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.

Twenty Arlington residents spoke against the ballpark proposal; fewer than half of that spoke in favor. The City Council voted 7-0 to approve the ordinance.

“Promptly Sacked: A David Moyes Story”

Also:

Conservative memes aren’t so much attempts at jokes as they are really short pamphlets trying to fully explain everything they believe in regarding a certain subject.

We should be thankful the reporter didn’t ask Gronk which one has better deep balls.

False. The most important move of all time is The Tombstone, and it’s not even worthy of a debate.

€94 million, that's like 1 Andy Carroll, 4 van Winkels and an infinite number of Sanogos.

With or without Higuan, Juventus win Serie A and don’t win Champions League. So...how is he worth the money again? Whatever. All I can say is, at least they’ll get it back whenever Pogba decides to pick a fucking club.

YAY! Americans aren’t the only people in the world who don’t give a shit about studying other major countries culture and history!