Maybe the PA is reading this all wrong. A sworn affidavit can be the basis for criminal prosecution, so perhaps the point of the interviews is just to pretend there’s been a due-diligence investigation and let everyone off the hook based on “evidence” that’s kept behind closed doors.

For the confused: this is not the same Thiago da Silva what plays soccer.

Here’s a hot take for you: the beverage shower is one of the dumbest traditions in sports.

CR has also evolved considerably as a player - he’s a much less selfish player now than he was at the stage when people first starting comparing him to Messi.

I am rooting for Man U to lose every match 6-5 this year.

And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead ...

Savage.

Did they speak Greek? No? Case closed.

It was more “fight the power” or “eat the rich” than “git whitey”, but there’s a lot of overlap.

“Maybe next time we’ll paint our skin black so we can win” isn’t racist?

Actually, it, does! But you don’t hear about it - just like you don’t hear about dead bodies in the Thames or Sydney Harbour, even though plenty of them are found - because it doesn’t fit the “Games in less developed countries are disasters” narrative. Just like having the Games in Rio or Sochi is due to bribery but…

This is obscure but needs more stars.

In no particular order:

Is there actually that much difference between lanes in a pool at the same time? I can see not counting it for records or even results between heats but 3cm is a pretty significant deviation, one that’s probably noticeable if you look for it.

The Las Vegas Why Are We Even Here?

“Aces” obviously is a obviously a respectful reference to the flying aces of America’s proud armed services, you communist.

I have to say, it is an unusually good apology. No attempt to minimize or shift blame, no excessive thesaurus full of verbiage, just an unambiguous acknowledgement that one screwed up. If this is how Canadians say “I’m sorry”, maybe we could all do with being a little more Canadian.

Boning co-workers is like receiving gifts of land from Cossacks - you can have as much as you want, but you have to go through it all in a single day.

To my recollection I’ve never just said, “Hey” after sex, but I tend to think it’s just a matter of projection. Men sometimes just want to disentangle, roll over, and fall asleep right after, so on some level they fear/dread that women will do the same thing to them. “Don’t fall right to sleep, I still want to engage…

The bicycle is already a machine. Yes, it’s a human-powered machine, but it’s fundamentally a human performance-enhancing machine. It’s already moto-doping, but instead of using electric motors it uses low-rolling resistance wheels and gear ratios.