Mourinho got them into this mess, he should be responsible for getting them out.

“Real hunters” are like 0.1% of the population, though, even among Republicans. What he wants to do is appeal to the culture warrior types, for whom the gun is a symbol of the “right” (i.e. right-wing) kind of values. It’s the same reason people like Dick Cheney wear cowboy boots.

They’re just having an off century. They and Royal Engineers are gonna be back soon, just you wait!

On the other hand, if you wanted to launch an animated series to target the same demographic as Powerpuff Girls, My Little Pony, and Adventure Time, wouldn’t Squirrel Girl be an ideal property to use?

You do ten things every day that appropriate culture that isn’t your own. STFU.

The ones that are getting their contracts honored probably have Simmons to thank for that. ESPN could have let everybody go, but that would give them them the chance to work for Simmons’ inchoate unnamed project and potentially drain audience away from ESPN. Their jobs are by no means secure, but they at least get to…

That joke predates Always Sunny by about 15 years.

Is that update really good news? I am skeptical they won’t give writers the same kind of freedom and opportunities they had at Grantland. In my view they axed GL because that kind of writing is largely off-brand for them, and they’re keeping the writers on to prevent them from all moving to a new platform, not because…

It’s very easy to use basic joint control techniques to make someone go where you want them to, particularly if there’s that kind of size differential. An elbow at most, usually a wrist suffices, especially with handcuffs. It can cause momentary pain but unless it’s done with deliberate intent to harm there won’t be…

Am I stupid for wondering how anyone could see a controversy on this? Fox is there to broadcast the game so fans can watch it, not to enable the ghoulish tendencies of malcontents. Postgame analysis, maybe you can speculate about whether it affected the performance of Volquez or coaching decisions or whatever. But I…

Don’t be silly - you need months, if not years, of watching football to understand how the game works. Baseball is a little less but still demands quite a bit of understanding, whereas I feel like basketball, soccer, and hockey are the most straightforward to get into.

That’s the thing - it used to be either/0r. Eric Liddell laughs his way to gold; Harold Abrahams trains obsessively to do it (Chariots of Fire is incorrect in its specifics but correct in its generalities). Now, though, you need both. Even the genetically blessed have to put in time in the weight room and on the…

My theory: Luke doesn’t show up at all. Luke never shows up. Luke is the teaser to get people going to every film just to find out what happens, but he never actually makes an appearance and Disney/JJ Abrams get to troll the hell out of everyone.

I always wonder whether Billy actually believes the nonsense he writes (and badly) or if it’s really just some kind of extended satire of terrible soccer journalism. No one writing at a place as self-deprecating, sarcastic, and snarky as Deadspin can be so unaware of themselves, can they?

Can we please just admit now that the conference system is a failure and just start putting FBS teams into leagues or tiers or whatever based on how good they actually are? Instead of “You finished 11-1, but at the top of a shitty division and guarantee good ratings for TV, so here’s a playoff invitation.”

Yeah, but which one? I can wrangling over the NFL’s process for deciding who gets to stay to be next year’s off-season legal drama.

I’d complain about them having time and collegiality to do this during a session rather than passing meaningful legislation of any kind, but I know all too well at this point that they wouldn’t have passed any laws anyway. Might a well use the Capitol for settling stupid bets so somebody gets a use out of those tax…

All I can say is, some of my best nights have started after sunrise.

Eventually the sphere would heat up and either explode from emitted gas buildup or start giving off black body radiation.

That would be the worst.