Yeah that’d be fun, like having an airplane from the early 20th century.

Yeah and even if we could push start them, bad batteries murder alternators by making them charge full blast the whole time, so you’d need a box full of alternators in the back of your car to go on a trip.

Oh man that’s a total dick move. It’s bad enough when they invite somebody who sucks and you’re emotionally prepared for it, but yeah, planning around somebody’s diet restrictions (which is pretty damn thoughtful) and then the husband pulling that crap is just ridiculous.

Or if it’s my wedding one groomsman will get lit before the wedding even starts, then on the dance floor he’ll force himself on the bride’s maid of honor who’s been avoiding him like the plague for a year, and another groomsman’s date will be two-fisting by the end and end up barfing in the background of half the…

Not to mention it doesn’t look at all classy for the couple dollars per head saved. Our caterer only charged like $5 more per person for a plated, served dinner.

Well there’s still that problem where you’re having a wedding on a major national holiday in the middle of winter though.

One would hope that, given all the other technical info in there, it wouldn’t be interpreted as literal that I believed battery acid would remove your hands chemically.

Only problem is starting one when the world’s car batteries all go bad 3-5 years after the apocalypse.

That’s always the horrifying reality I come back to after thinking “sure, I’ll survive!”

Your “Uh” was too much of a spoiler for what came next.

If you park close enough to another car to use those doors, it’s pretty much guaranteed that other car is going to fuck up your doors when they open theirs.

There’s no way actually being prepared is worse than dropping three balls.

Pretty sure that glasses/hair/belt combination has never witnessed a ball caught in the wild.

My favorite part is when they jump to catch an underthrown ball.

Adam West seriously needs to hit the gym.

At this point I’m half expecting Mini’s next car to be a rebadged Excursion.

Keep in mind she was saying that to get along with the dumb ex-boyfriend with no class, who she had already dumped.

Truth be told, you put any clothing on a hot girl (or remove it) and it will inevitably get the attention it deserves.

Yeah that’s the real magic of E85: Instant race gas. It gives you upward of 105 octane, letting you boost the crap out of a turbocharged engine without fear of destruction. It’s amazing for that, and way cheaper than race gas or going to a paint store and buying a gallon of 114-octane Toluene.

Well he blows away Larry Wilmore’s delivery.