Oh and one time my car's turbo failed, sending the turbine and broken shaft into the exhaust downpipe, and dumping oil into the exhaust en masse. So I ripped out the turbine, rerouted the oil line, and drove a turbo car with an empty turbo.

My mom's Z28 Camaro's fuel pump died, and required either 10 hours of suspension removal to get at the fuel tank and pump, or a sawzall to cut through the floorboard.

That's fucking ingenious, and this is coming from a guy who could write a book about these kinds of repairs.

Holy shit this wins.

I once did that with a string of zip ties tied together. This was on a stickshift car like yours, which made driving it an absolute bitch.

I blame the previous owners for eating part of the frame rail.

Everything you just listed was either the previous owners' fault (which you mentioned) or wear items...wearing out.
That poor car.

I had an 8-6-4 as my first car. The cylinder deactivation system actually worked flawlessly the entire time I owned it. It even kept driving for another month with the trans full of water after I half-submerged the car and somehow it filled its transmission up with water when it didn't leak and wasn't submerged at the…

"Ummm"

Good God

"Intake manifold failed...Two wheel bearing failures...Devours rear brake pads...Multiple cross threaded bolts on the interior."

Yeah that was the first thing I saw. "No expenses spared?" Yeah, the painter getting the logo upside down doesn't qualify as a cut corner, but hiring that painter sure was. Attention to details that are that basic apparently costs more money than he was willing to spend.

Kinda doubled down there, didn't ya?

Reminds me of the old man who nailed me in the front corner when he jumped out from a side street out of nowhere. Cop was going to blame the kid in the red camaro (me) if it weren't for a guy looping back and telling what he saw.

Grace Jones is terrifying

"I asked Land Rover how many of the original pressing are left"

Judging by the mixture of industry jargon, acronyms and the general air of superiority, I'm gonna say because 'murica.

That's a pretty horrifying "design flaw" considering the potential consequences.

"Uhhh... this isn't.."

Here's the thing: Usually the people who know the difference between those words actually know other information too, because they actually pay attention to information they're supposed to learn.