Why does Millie sound like an exhausted soccer mom who managed to find five minutes to herself for some self care? She’s also going to ruin her under eye skin if that’s how she really applies a scrub, someone needs to tell her that she should avoid the eye area when she exfoliates.

At least not in the way he’d like.

and lo, a meme was born

Will our autonomous cars be 100% perfect and never have an accident? No.

Imposing tariffs, as a financial tool, have almost nothing to do with President Trump being mean or horrible. (I think he’s an incompetent narcissist. “Mean and horrible” are just byproducts.)

You posted this same stupid comment on the last Trump article, and I’ll say the same thing I said to you then.

It has to be that big. Twice a year I tow a 12-foot travel trailer. 

That’s why anything that is not a Kenworth semi is useless. You never know when you’ll have to pull a 53ft of avocados home for your bi centennial guac party.

EA: continues to exist

Clips are what civies put in their hair, this is called a magazine

I especially love the security guard flinching to get out of her way as she runs down the tunnel. I mean, she literally laid a (one) finger on a guy, so she may be volatile. I mean, this is almost as bad as an NHL fight!

Coming from experience, the answer to everyone on jalopnik now needs to be Buick Regal TourX. Don't settle for anything but the Essence. I love my brownish wagon.

Yes.

Yes. You know how rich people get rich?

I never understood the need to keep up appearances when you have a job that does all the appearances for you. Who cares what car you drive? You’re licensed to pilot a motherfucking JET. Keep your cash and come up with some great retorts for the ribbing that the superficial tech bros and venture cap babies feel they…

They buy a car without first driving it

To answer you question:

What in the world is even middle class in America anymore? I feel like to have a comfortable middle class life and not live in the boonies, you need to be making 200k+ household... And to truly afford a 50k car, you need to be making 200k. Your house shouldn’t be more than 3 times your yearly income and your cars…

Damn, I can only give 1 star but this is exactly right. To put it another way the F-35 is that smoking hot bat-shit crazy chick everyone wants bang but the A-10 is the woman you make BABIES WITH, because she loves you and has your back!

Time to dust off the old alternate headline roundup: