Done.

I'm no expert, but if I'm a betting man my money's on the NFL using the "seriously, who the fuck has a VCR anymore?" defense.

GOODELL: Hey, how bout that Redskins name controversy, I'd love to talk about that now. I say, let's change it! Who's with me??

If he doesn't beat his spouse, you know his house is just overflowing with passive aggression. "Oh, you're grilling flank steak tonight? Because if I knew were going to have a barbecue, I would have rented some space in the park, got out my O'Jays records and invited aunt Ceile and the kids. Should I get out the…

This is the most ridiculous nonsense I've ever heard in my life.

You say that as if Floyd has any idea of what the word hypothetical means

Well Known Scumbag Defends Other Well Known Scumbag

They had a tickle fight and she accidently slipped

Yes, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to give that organization ANY credit after the way they completely botched this situation.

In this instance, I can support Goodell not wanting to see the video....

Much like his Cowboys, Jerry Jones has no defense.

In my mind, Olivia Pope and Carmen Sandiego are somewhere in a historical European city, sipping wine at a cafe. Rockapella stands a few feet away, serenading them, while some very attractive shirtless men give them shoulder rubs. Oh yeah, I'm totally there too, same stuff.

With Carmen Sandiego?

I want Joe Biden to be my dad and give me inspiring talks straight out of a '90s family sitcom.

You mean the same league that deliberately lied about the long-term effects of concussions lied about a video?!?!?

So NCAA and NFL have decided on the same day to tell us that punching your fiancee out is ok until the video is made public and fucking kids in the shower at your team facility is not as bad as Reggie Bush receiving improper benefits once. Glad we got that all figured out.

These fucking idiots are ALL awful. Fuck Peter King, fuck the NFL, fuck Roger Gooddell, fuck the Ravens, fuck Rice's lawyer, fuck Steve Smith, fuck Schefter, fuck Harbaugh, fuck everyone who defended Ray Rice and/or tried to pin some of the blame on Janay, and most of all, fuck Ray Motherfucking Rice.

So when is Roger Goodell getting released?