I’m a guy, and this horrifies me more than I can express.

Favorite cheeses, Jezzies? Mine is Manchego, or any aged cheese with the little crunchie salt bits in it. Today I learned those are called tyroline clusters or CHEESE CRYSTALS https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_cr….

I went to a 2 million dollar wedding, bride’s dress alone cost over $100k. She threw up down the front of it at the reception.

MARK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THAT THE LADY THEY BURIED WAS SOMEHOW ALIVE UNDERGROUND FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS

These people are fucking crazy. I mean, the amount of time they spent doing PR and shit has pickled their brains and now they see everything in terms of “synergies” and “co-branding”.

She made a total post-birth hormonal based hair decision. I had my hair died blonde after my second kid (I felt super depressed about how I looked) and then it basically all fell out because it was it fried and the cut I got to save it was along the lines of Julie Andrews in Sound of Music. I looked like I ate a tire…

Counterpoint Exhibit 1 - I cut my own bangs a few weeks ago, because they cover at least two of my fivehead, and they look goddamned awesome.

See, I am that person who isn’t sure I would do it all over again. Really. I love my son, but I was hospitalized 6 times, threw up for 8 months (even during labor), lost 15 lbs even though I had a child that was 8.5 lbs, had post-partum depression.... I just don’t think pregnancy is for me. Which is why I only had the…

I thought this comment from the NYT comments was interesting:

No! If you are looking at your phone while your kid is growing up, you are an abusive parent and I am calling child protective services on you, you degenerate monster!

There is no way anyone who has ever used the Internet would ever associate this idea with “love and positivity”. That line genuinely sounds like an alien trying to pass themselves off as human.