BTW that is a baby pig.  ‘Mini pigs’ are a lie.

Nah.

Do all of your neighbors have blue light bulbs in their porch lights? That’s one of the first things I noticed the first time I visited Rising Sun. (After peering around all of the confederate flags.)

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

...a lot.

I intensely dislike wedding and baby showers, but those games sound genuinely fun!

I’m an American, so please excuse my ignorance, but: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  People are literally shackled to posts in diapers all night?  

I enjoyed reading this so much.  Feel free to share more stories about that awful cousin (or about anyone, really--you’re a fantastic writer).

Honest question: why do you go if you don’t enjoy them?  Other than my bff’s, I’ve always found a way to decline the invitation because I know I probably won’t have a good time.  

Appoint him as a federal judge, perhaps. 

Nothing has yet made me feel older than this article.  

If Mike Pence showed up at your front door you would probably be confused as to why the FedEx man is wearing a suit.

PIE

Okay, again, because you dismissed my first comment: try reading articles first before responding.

If you genuinely read the article and this was your takeaway, I’m worried for you.

What helped you get over it?  

If you endorse a racist, you’re racist.  And racism is evil.  So...

I’m not intersex but I’m non-binary.  I guess I don’t exist!  

You wanna fight a-pouch it?