While part of me is like “Yeah, that would be totally bonkers.” there’s another part of me that’s wondering if we’re actually worried that Putin would openly harm children at a Christmas party.

Beyonce smoothed her skirt while her sister went wacky-wavy-inflatable-tube-man on her husband. I *highly* doubt this alleged phone call took place as described, if at all. She’s got way more chill than that.

I don’t remote believe the Beyoncé gossip, mostly because I don’t believe Beyoncé ever stoops to full on fighting with her enemies. I would believe that Kim called Beyoncé and Beyoncé said nice-sounding things to her, and then Kim got off the phone and realized every last word Bey said to her was absolute shade.

Oh, brother-in-law has a gunsafe. He still leaves loaded weapons around like an idiot. But he was in the marines, so he knows about this stuff, unlike ignorant me.

“she accidentally called Anderson ‘Blake’ one night in bed!”  

Not a big Madonna fan, and this part of her speech certainly didn’t make me more so one:

My BiL (a meticulously polite person, I might add) met Anderson Cooper while riding an escalator at an airport once. Anderson is not a nice person, and actually kind of a jerk. Andy dodged a bullet, I think.