You're soft.

Any excuse to post the greatest GIF of all time:

that's the most buzz baseball's had in tampa since the '08 series.

"After a long look in the mirror, I've decided I'm retiring in order to spend more time with this mirror."

The last few years have been quite the roller coaster ride for Moffitt; it sounds like he's had his fair share of uppers and downers.

Not surprising. Back in the day, it was ALWAYS my policy to hit dudes in the head when they asked if I was selling drugs. My only problem was that I worked at CVS at the time.

Alternatively, "27 year-old with long hair and beard entraped by undercover cop."