That should not be funny but it is.

I was waiting for the white car in the background to plow through the water.

“Oh, I didn’t see it,” the victim says, about the massive pool of water.

Great. No more family Thanksgivings.

4 years later, friend’s husband finally finished the bathroom. It’s thing of beauty, walk in shower with a bench, bidet, large tub, floor length mirror, heated floor but my friend is bitter, she waited 4 years for it.

I’m going to find the whole series and read them again. Pixie cuts! Riding in bathtubs! Opening a running washing machine! Paperboy copycat!

I loved Henry Huggins. I read his books first. I loved how he got Ribsy. And then his encounters with Ramona when he got his paper route.

City friends move to the country and the husband told us a sweet story about how his cat “played” with a mouse. He thought they were best friends until kitty killed the mouse and ate it.

Walks on a table, shows everyone his butt, ignores them and then tries to leave. That cat is a born politician.

Won’t someone please start a gofundme for this poor man?

Then you won’t mind that the next time you are in a room with the expectation of privacy that someone is peering at you with dick or pen in hand?

Dame Edna!

...so this is you?

Maybe she’ll go home, play the game and slay everyone.

I work in a kitchen and every day I come home, dirty, sweaty and greasy. The best part of my day is washing that grime off me with warm soapy water.

Sweet indeed.

I worked with a woman who never washed her hands after using the washroom. Her potluck offerings always went untouched by the other women, the men ate in blissful ignorance.

WTF is pepperoni seasoning?

Am I bad because I thought that this person was Iggy Azalea?

I get extra steak when I complain about how hard my day was, it helps that I eat there almost every week.