I think she didn’t want me stopping at Mcds. Strangely, it was always the bottom half.

I got a bruise on my forehead when I dropped a canoe on it. Camping and portaging. The truth can be so strange that people believe it.

My cat used to leave exactly one half of a dead mouse next to my car door every morning. We lived in the country and the mouse population was high.

You don’t need a “friend” like that and it reminded me of something similar that happened to me, the funny thing at the time I thought I’d never forget it. Years ago, a good friend got sick and I helped her out for months, long hospital visits because she was lonely and didn’t want her other friends to see her while…

I had a friend who brought her kid to everything, lunches with other women friends, book club meetings, road trips, literally everything. It only stopped when he was old enough to rebel and wanted to spend his time with his buddies.

If I’m talking to someone and they pick up their phone and start talking or texting, I leave without a word.

I can’t respond to texts msg immediately because we are forbidden from using them while at work so sometimes I don’t read msgs and respond until the end of the day. Maybe it’s me but I hate texting. It’s too disjointed and never ending.

I dropped a good friend because of boundaries. She calls first thing in the morning, before my alarm, if I don’t respond then text messages, Skype, email until she gets an answer. It’s always urgent (for her). It’s sad because she is a good person but just doesn’t get that friends can’t be available 24/7 and that I…

Hope the other two friend watch their backs cause this level of mean spiritedness does not stop just because the current victim refuses to play along.

I don’t need friends in my life who call my spouse worthless and a leech.

So true, at my local McD’s the weekday breakfast was the best; fresh, fast, hot and ready because it was all older women who had been there for years. Weekends, it was the teens who’d spend most of their shift time obviously hungover and not giving a damn. Never eat at a McD on the weekend for any meal.

adult diapers? A friend was sick enough with bowel issues that he used them and they were a life saver for him.

A moat with sharks with fricken lasers beams attached to their fricken heads.

Picture rush hour traffic with construction. Stuck in the middle on a bridge with a friend who has to “go” desperately. There is no other option but the side of the bridge with no sidewalks or edge because of the construction. You gotta do what you gotta do. Oh and afterwards we moved maybe 2 feet in 30 minutes so we…

There is less than 2 years between me and my sister. My mother used to dress us alike and we were often mistaken for twins because we looked alike. She was taller and bigger, neither of us appreciated it. We still get called the wrong name by people who haven’t seen us for a while.

Someone once turned on the heat during a summer heat wave as a “joke”. He was fired.

I lived on a farm that had barn owls. Owls hooting at night, almost as good as hearing the loons calling.

They’re carting a baby around without a hat on his/her head. God likes sunburns.

It’s been taken care of...

“My souls tell me it’s raining.” I’m going to have to use that at work today. “My souls tells me it’s time for a coffee so leave me alone”.