Nice. My mutant third hand now has an acronym.

But also New Mexico! And also I finished all my grading. But, yes, for most people, it's Utah and New Mexico!

I like this. It tells the full story. One elected official is pissed trying to stop it, everyone else is helping/crying. Kinda sums it up.

ALRIGHT FESS UP JEZEBELLES - WHO RECOMMENDED THE OP 4 TIMES???

But where was that spoon from? If it's not Sur La Table or Williams Sonoma I don't think you're really married...

Please and thank you.

EVERYTHING should have more Don Cheadle and less Lena Dunham.

Future Tweet Beats should contain more Don Cheadle, less Lena Dunham.

Is it strange that the thing bugging me most about Lena Dunham right now is the fact that she took to Twitter to deal with this? Lena, you are a writer. Pen a nice essay and send it over to HuffPo or something. What the fuck are you doing reasoning with the hoi polloi in 140 characters or less? Show some respect for…

Gah, Burt, I feel like I pissed you off with my stupid comment on the Brittany Murphy post. That wasn't my intention!

Yes, because sometimes things sound like other things!

...I didn't get it until I read your post. :/

Abso-fucking-lutely. Two young people, living in the same house with Mom, who have no recorded life threatening illnesses, suddenly die within, what - 6 months of each other? And Mom's living there too as healthy as apple pie?

Sasha and Malia, I love you girls but you don't even know what an embarrassing dad is! Your dad asks your friends about their homework? My dad made any boy that came over listen to him play the accordion before they could watch a movie in the basement with me, and my dad got REALLY into playing the accordion.

I see the Perfect Assistant has already done her job.

The men and even the women must find you enchanting and an absolute pleasure to be around, so much so that they cant even remember what the meeting is about.

Can't wait for the Pope Francis t-shirt.

I see what you did there.

If we made the banknotes entirely out of Spandex it'd be easier to make our money stretch.

YOU DID IT. YOU REALLY DID IT. GUESS WHO'S THE NUMBER 1 STALKER NOW, OTHER INTERNET PEOPLE?!