I got over my fear of flying by doing the opposite of what everyone says to do. I read up on accidents. I helped me understand how (1) how planes work and (2) incredibly rare accidents are.

Favorite.

Oh for shame.

I just call everyone “Steve.”

It’s pretty clear that they didn’t actually think it was a bomb since they followed none of the procedures one is supposed to follow if you think a bomb is in a school (like evacuating the damn building).

They didn’t think it was a bomb. Or they would’ve evacuated the school. They thought he’d a Muslim kid who’d back down. They picked the wrong one. Love it.

They never thought it was a bomb. If they ever genuinely thought it was a bomb, they would have evacuated the school and called the SWAT team. They wanted to intimidate Ahmed’s family because his father is an outspoken advocate of Muslim-Americans in an openly racist community.

I need to see work id’s

Like all Ryan Murphy shows, it will be amazing for the first two seasons then it will suck and we will be left wondering why it's still on the air.

How was my summer? Boring and lacking good TV shows!

yeah lets put someone who took a vow of poverty on some MONEY amiright

INDOORS

Greatest tweet of all time.

I was told to throw personal questions back at people who ask this: “when’s the last time you declared bankruptcy?” “When’s the last time you had an orgasm?” “What’s your credit score? Oh, that’s none of my business? WHAT BETTER ADVICE TO TAKE THAN YOUR OWN??!!”

WOMEN: if you are having an ouchy in your no-no parts, please go see a “down there” doctor about your you-know-what. Your lady business is a serious matter and hoo-hah health is essential to the very survival of our species.