MONICA. WHY HAVEN'T YOU WASHED THAT YET? IT'S BEEN LIKE 10 YEARS.

Yep. If someone said I seemed uncomfortable, I'd dive head-first into the assumption that I was making THEM uncomfortable. Which would pretty much fuck up my whole day. Ah, the joy of being a hypersensitive introvert.

And her cousin is Ginuwine. Ginuwine is just.... Ginuwine.

I've heard that if you can only clean one room, you should clean the bathroom. It's the only room in your house where a person will spend time alone, and thus will have the chance to dissect how clean it is.

I usually respond with a sultry "jealous?"

I have sizeable boobs, and I've had more than one person tell me out of nowhere that I should have breast reduction surgery. CHILD NO.

"Oh you have an English degree? Do you want to be a teacher?"

I'm in the process of being laid off and hunting for a new job, and FUCKING EVERYBODY had advice for me. Being the naive person I am, I took all of it to heart for a while.

Okay tangential connections ahoy:

Holy tits that ring is beautiful.

If you ain't no punk

1) I've always assumed that I would be the one to propose to my inevitable husband/wife/genderqueer domestic partner. My mom gave me a big speech about gender equality when I was just a babydidthatonce and asked if women could propose to men. Ever since then, I've thought it would be totally cool to propose as a…

They missed a chance to call it the Radiation Cur-ie

This is making me wonder how Sesame Street would handle non-traditional families. I bet they could do it awesomely. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if one or more characters lived with a grandparent or was adopted.

NEGL I read that as "centaurs" and thought something COMPLETELY different.

Yes. Everything about this.

Gotta love the people saying, "well they ARE fat..."

The problem is that my parents are out of the house most of the time, so any discipline is negated when he hops up on the table and no one's around to scold him.

Fun story: when I was in middle school, I did a science fair project on which cat litter was the best. World's Best Cat Litter was actually the most absorbent by a longshot. Maybe I could mix some in with the regular clay stuff for a bit?

No, I'm pretty sure that this is just Ikea's introduction of their new Mönkey line of animal clothing.