"We're like best friends. We're hanging out later."

Here, not having a family life is a bad thing because it allows those homosexuals to veto legislation that crosses their desks—yes, Congressional staffers have veto power, never mind the Constitution. But Janet Napolitano not having a family life was good because then she could devote herself 24/7 to protecting the…

My favorite part is when he's all, "But I put my kids first! I didn't leave for a different life!" right after he says he and his paramour decided to have a kid. You know, the kid he left when he returned to the kids he didn't leave? What a shithead.

"We do not allow euthanasia of someone who may be dying or is infirm simply to allow them to die sooner," said Hanusa.

I cannot imagine the wardrobe malfunction if I tried to run in a bustier.

Well, you might not associate them with Italy/Italian characteristics but they identify as guidos and guidettes. So they're staying their behavior is part of that culture, which is certainly associated with Italian-Americans.

Part of me says Lady Gaga is full of shit if she really thinks anything about 'Friday' shows genius. But then I think she's probably just defending a kid who's taken a bunch of shit. She's so supportive of younger kids and always talks about not letting yourself get beat down and I think this is consistent with that…

The abortion is the good choice, asshole. That's why she already made it.

And so, if they don't want to hear it, they're obviously not the guy you want to be with, emotionally or physically. I lost my virginity at 20 with a guy 9 years older than I whom I was completely infatuated with. He was a little weirded out at first and then just wanted me to be sure it was what I wanted. When the…

Things probably would have been a lot easier for my single mom if the government had provided our food and health care. Instead, she worked and we had food and health care (via my dad, to be fair) and she gave us Christmas presents and took us on vacations and came to our sporting events and school plays. I have no…

I just don't get the love for Mila Kunis' dress. I thought it was very unflattering on her—which is hard because she is absolutely gorgeous. I just didn't like the cut or the lace.

I bet she's just devastated not to have the pleasure of fucking a drunk asshole. Not being a drunken sportfuck is a compliment to her, not an insult.

My husband only went to humor me. He kept telling me that, when the time came, he was sure he'd be able to figure out what he needed to do. After laboring for a while and the baby didn't descend, it became clear that a c-section was in my future. He was decidedly not sure what he needed to do and was completely…

If you're me, you're gassy from conception on...until you finish nursing at 14 months. In fact, your gas during the first trimester will be so bad and your sense of smell so heightened that you'll want to cry over that.

Voicemail would be easier and perhaps more effective if the caller didn't have to listen to some ridiculously long message about the person not being available and which keys to press if you want to leave a call-back number and if the receiver didn't have to listen to the phone number the call was received from and…

This is what I'm saying!

Quick question: does Debbie Schlussel understand the difference between being threatened and being raped? Between sitting at home behind a computer and being in a revolution? 'Cause the two aren't really comparable.

This complicates things a great deal. Can you kill a woman performing an abortion on herself to prevent her from harming her unborn child?

They don't go to school. Kids who wear this are homeschooled for sure.

Be richer, moms? No way! Be richer, dads and then the moms won't have to work. Because we know no women work for personal satisfaction or fulfillment.