So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.

You're absolutely right. I love advanced metrics, and I'm a basketball fan who doesn't like sports. I'm also a vegetarian steak aficionado and, despite my hatred of classical music, am a big Beethoven fan. In related news, the hell are you talking about?

Maybe I need to read the actual article for full context, but what type of strong response would qualify as 'taking action' to him?

Well, considering that MMQB feels like it's written by some clueless simple-dick neocon, this is about the least surprising thing ever.

I can't blame King for this one. If there's any world people that knows about knee-jerk militantism and armchair violence, it's sportswriters.

"Rings, the only stat that counts."

DISRE2PECTFUL.

Just goes to show you, having the best player doesn't win the World Cup. But having the best team does.

I don't think it's that. Philippe Auclair's biography of Henry touches on this slightly. Not applicable to this case necessarily, but apparently Henry was never that happy with goals because he always remembered a pass he mishit or a shot he had missed. Here he's probably just frustrated with his shitty teammates…

If I was a sports superstar I'm not sure what I would do. Continue playing in the big leagues as a back up on a shitty team as a shell of my former self or go to a 5th tier league and "dominate" with ease. Hell, Shaq should be playing in China right now getting endorsement deals out the ass to hawk some deodorant or…

Still so much class

DUDE WHAT

Bonds was incredible, roids or not. Never seen a guy with an eye like that. Pitch could be 0.1 inches from the zone, and he wouldn't touch it. And you are right, there'd be games where he'd get what seemed like only one or two strikes, and he'd crush that pitch pretty damn often.

I know "plate appearance" but I'd love to see something about hittable pitches. Which would be insane to try to put together. I'm no Bonds fan, but there were seasons where he'd see like one ball to hit per game and he'd park that fucker.

ESPN really fucked up by not having Zlatan as a correspondent for this year's World Cup. He would slice Alexi Lalas to pieces.

Is this the guy that Franco basically stole from Barca?

What about a picture of Manziel preparing himself to play in the NFL?

Cryonics is one of those things that I wish wasn't an enormous crock of bullshit but it definitely is, kind of like Communism. The problem, also like with Communism, is that the idea only works if people don't act like people. Basic human nature will always derail it. Which is a shame because like Williams (the good…

Wouldn't the spinal column need to remain attached to the head in order to communicate any motor functionality with cybernetic devices, or is this thing so outlandish that hacking the head off with an electric carving knife just as good?