I hear them, too.

Well, Republicanism has shifted to be pretty much equal to religious conservatism. My point still stands. You can’t be a conservative feminist in this political climate.

This is becoming the new religion of this era. My father couldn’t care less if my sister and I don’t marry Catholics but he would throw a fit if we married Republicans. Twenty years ago I bet it would have been reversed.

I had a surgical abortion almost a year ago and spent the rest of the day snuggled up with my boyfriend eating barbeque and watching The First Wives Club with a heating pad. Had it not been for the copious amounts of blood coming out of me, it would have been the perfect day off.

Boo hoo. If they want to undermine a necessary public institution by opting out, they can pay for it.

I went to a private, Christian school and would have never expected the city to fund anything regarding my education. It is a private school for a reason and it is up to that particular school to pay for its own security.

So what? That’s tax money that goes to public schools. Just because you choose not to use the public schools that tax money rightfully goes to doesn’t mean that tax money follows you to a private school.

It’s disappointing that so many commenters are dismissing the experiences of people who have survived emotional abuse and pointed out the similarities. Sure, it doesn’t mean we know all the facts here, but I would hope that the sharing of these experiences would be met with sympathy and attempts at understanding…

You seem very determined to stick up for this woman, I have half the mind to think you might be her.

Did you see the part where I said “it doesn’t matter that you said that, it’s what everyone says when they say this, and it’s still shitty”? Because it is. Because it’s what people in my situation hear all the time when we talk about the awful things our mothers have done and continue to do.

I am so glad you called this out for the meddling that this is.

Please do not be this person. I’m sorry for your loss, but as the daughter of an abusive, mentally ill mother ... I don’t think I should be guilted into talking to her more because your own mother, who was a lovely person, died. She makes my life worse, and I’ll never have one of those moments where I think that she…

All she needs to keep track of is “during this time on this day, kid X will not be available for talking or texting.”

I think that sounds like precisely what this is. This girl is 18. Just...don’t take the nice things? Do you think the “we paid for x and she isn’t doing y” started with college money? I have parents like this mom, and I had a breakdown on my 9th birthday because I knew I only had 9 more years before I was an adult to…

Same, I have the worst flashbacks from reading this mom’s letter. Getting my first real job that paid enough money that I could tell my mom I would never depend on her for money ever again was the best thing that ever happened to me, and she was clearly upset by the loss of control. This mom reminds me of her.

That actually makes a lot of sense, and it was you who gave them the schedule. I have a hard time imagining a mom looking up the courses herself and making up a schedule. Congratulations on a great relationship with them, btw!

It sounds like you didn’t have parents who used the nice things they did for you as a manipulative tool to be revoked whenever you failed to behave in exactly the way they wanted, which is super awesome. But for people whose parents offer nice things that are actually a method of control, it doesn’t feel “bratty” to…

This letter writer is giving me strong flavors of my mom. The martyrdom, using money/gifts as control. The question of “should a young adult text their mom back” isn’t really my takeaway here, it’s that a well - adjusted person would not have written this letter.

Uhm, she may know the classes her daughter is taking, but looking the exact titles up in the time schedule and keeping a written or mental calendar of her daughter’s day does go into weird stalker territory.

That’s disgusting. She doesn’t need to know about your sexual relationships. What did the psychologist say?