Is that how you found out it was over?

I used to date a girl who was functionally deaf without her hearing aid, and she once admitted to me that she just turned the thing off around people she didn’t like.

Honestly, if I had an injury that could reasonably lead to some amnesia, I’ll consider using it as an opportunity to at least act like I no longer know certain people, even if I still did.

I remarked to my girlfriend after she heard about this story that “if I ever get that kind of brain damage from anything, please, pull the plug. I don’t want to survive that.”

To which she said “if I found out you got brain damage after a night in a whorehouse, I’d gladly pull the plug.”

It is, but once when my dog had a pussy sore I googled the term “pussy dog” and the results were horrifying.

I prefer to think he was using the royal “we”, the majestic plural. You know, him and the voices in his head.

Except, the word “we” might have been more inclusive than was apropos for the situation.

What’s the over/under on catching him with a male prostitute and a duffel bag of meth and viagra? A week? Two weeks?

“America needs to hear the message,” he says. “We are messed up.”

Perhaps. But it’s been proven that even in cases in which women work as many or more hours then men, they’re still expected to do the housework.

My brother could not do his own laundry until he graduated from college. My father can barely manage it. When my mom went away, he asked me to operate the washing machine. he installed the fucking thing. You’d think he would have had to be able to operate it to test it.

only if you get to be the flim.

Being “flimflammed” sounds like it might be fun?

This is why parents have got to teach their sons to do their own damn housework.

Would eat.

That's what they said about the pancreas and where are those people now?

If you have the self-awareness to be afraid of that scenario, you probably aren't likely to be driving while hammered at 10am.

Well done, reminds me of my favorite page on Facebook.