Same deal. Also, loving the Tori Amos callout in your name (I've got one, too!). I think my mother is alone too. Everyone's fault but hers.

I am estranged from both my parents. For two very different reasons. Cutting off my mom was the most recent - its been a year and a half since we last spoke. I went to grad school and she ramped up the crazy from Barely Tolerable to MAXIMUM NEED AND MANIPULATION and then left me a drunk, abusive voicemail about how…

Maintenance is exactly the right word, yes. You have to maintain friendships, right? You have to make the effort, pick up the phone. Something that isn't nurtured and paid attention to will inevitably die. It's not very romantic, but lets face it, most of marriage isn't very romantic. It's wonderful, but its not an…

Yeah. It scares the shit out of me, tbh.

Oh, and I see that @rooshv got involved, who posted this nugget:

The prejudice against women who can't/won't breastfeed is the most classist, privileged shit ever. I just fucking can't.

My husband and I had sex on our wedding night! Both of them, actually (we had a private civil ceremony a week before the big day). We're not sure how the second one happened, since by the time we got to the hotel we were HUNG THE FUCK OVER.

Dude. That is a play unto itself. THEN IT WOULD BE A PLAY WITHIN A PLAY.

I completely love the (intentional?) Tori Amos reference.

I usually can control myself with my celeb crushes, but I just can't with this one. He is just too god damn sexy.

The fuck? WHAT THE FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENDURE A WINTER WITHOUT JAMIE FRASER OH MY GOD I'M YELLING.

I have to be real that I boned my husband ridiculous after watching this. Okay, not IMMEDIATELY after, but the seeds had been planted for sexy married boning.

THANK YOU. THIS THIS THIS.

You, sir, are a stronger person than most. It's bad enough I have a ton of booze in my liquor cabinet, all shiny and unopened because they were xmas gifts, torturing me.

Day 4 and we just got delivery again. The idea of going out with subzero wind chills to a restaurant just to order a fucking Diet Coke was just too depressing.

Why is Too Cute not on this list?

I had the swine flu back in 2010. I wound up at the ER because I had a 103 degree fever and felt like someone was tearing my lower back open with a serrated knife. Horrible. Worst pain of my life.

My husband proposed to me in my living room, in the morning, when I was hungover as fuck, wearing my PJ's and still hadn't brushed my teeth. He told me we had to "talk" which scared me, because that's code for SRS BSNS in our house. Then he got on his knee and said words I don't really remember except he meant that…

I think teenagers would be a lot better off if they got enough damn sleep. I remember being exhausted 24/7 when I was in high school, because I had to get up at fucking 6 am for class. How much happier and more functional would teens be if school started at 11 am and went to 5 pm? Some extra curriculars could start at…

Okay WHO is his derm/surgeon? That is some Benjamin Button shit.