Ok, so true story. I went to an outdoor amphitheater where they played the Fellowship of the Ring on the big screen, and then an orchestra performed the soundtrack live (it was awesome). I received a program with a photo from Fellowship on the cover, the one where Frodo has fallen on his back and is reaching up for…

Looking for a woman obsessed with pee? Urine luck!

Katy seemed a little extra happy this interview. I’ll have what she’s having.

Generally speaking, when celebrities are interviewed on Ellen, I am pleasantly surprised at how witty, self-deprecating, and intelligent they are.

No, we’re not. We can talk about it.

I will. Don’t spit fire and act like an ass if you can’t fucking take it.

She could lose another fifteen pounds if she had a colonoscopy because she’s obviously full of shit.

Also- Every Breath You Take.

I have a cat who looks like a Russian Blue but is actually a gray tabby. He is concerned that he will be stereotyped for his appearance.

I’m gonna say it: ModCloth had such cute stuff, but the items were almost never worth it for the price.

I refuse to shop at a company whose employees we have to support.

Such a huge bummer. As a plus-size clothes wearer, Modcloth has been of my go to’s because they have such cute products. I won’t continue to shop there if they’re owned by Walmart, though. I refuse to support a company that treats its employees so badly.

She cried tears of joy with Emma Stone. She literally has a lot of feelings but couldn’t spare one for Affleck. In the end her job was to hand him a statue. She’s not obliged to give anyone her good will.

This is why Brie Larson is going to be a Marvel superhero, and Casey Affleck is just an asshole with a fugly beard.

Casey Affleck was brilliant in Manchester by the Sea and absolutely deserved his Oscar.

Congrats to her and Constance Wu who don’t give a fuck about hurting their careers by pissing off the sexist frat bros who run Hollywood and will probably side with Affleck.

This was PERFECT.

Can we also talk about the fact that Chrissy Teigen “sleeping” through his acceptance speech was probably not a coincidence?

Bless you for sharing this Very Aretha Moment. Has anyone pitched a Christmas special with Ms. Franklin? She could sing Christmas carols and shade the shit out of everyone. A Very Shady Christmas.

That said, there is a town named rat’s mouth.