“I am a dolphin.”

Robbie fucking Keane

Due to his poor result, Billy was relegated to ballboying the Utica Open.

Dean ‘Leech’ Spanos and his parasitic family did it for me.

That’s basically the only upside I have for this team. I look forward to a fall of productive house cleaning and crisp walks around the neighborhood on Sundays now.

The Jaguars helped me kick.

The Bears did that for me.

I think Deadspin should offer a one-time-only amnesty in which Jets fans are allowed to switch their allegiance to another team without being accused of bandwagoning. Then after they’ve all accepted the offer, publish a followup post saying it was a trick and only the most pathetic fanbase in sports would accept such…

You can tell the Jets are hated most of all by their own fans because the first dozen responses Drew lists are all one-sentence screams of despair into the void.

Good dog

The Tour de Sebastian.

And for the first time in a long time, there’s finally an athlete in cycling that isn’t under the cloud of suspicion surrounding doping.