Seems to be a pretty good day so far, I’m just going to log off now until Game of Thrones.

There's a lot of paperwork involved.

Yes, I am a self-hating Mets fan.

It is pronounced, “Ruuuustee.”

Oh that’s different, euro posts have actual bad soccer fans while Copa soccer commenters are more just “durr, where’s my NASCAR.”

At least one guy on the roster really wants to beat the Braves.

I’m not saying we have bad karma for signing Jose Reyes....wait a sec, I AM TOTALLY FUCKING SAYING THAT.

There is no USMNT truthering going on in the grays, they are just the standard “I HATE SOCCER” guys. The only USMNT truthers are Alexi Lalas and the other FOXSPORTS pundits also being paid to be biased.

You probably should have had a more subtle setup then.

To be fair, many families aren’t actually trying to help so much as trying to keep their names out of the press.

Rich white guys get a fuckton of well-cushioned trap doors to fall through.

Money can’t buy rock bottom, it can only delay it.

At least he doesn’t have Brock Turner’s enabling father.

Meanwhile in Major League Baseball, the NY Mets are gleefully counting down the hours until 1pm tomorrow when they can sign Jose Reyes to a prorated MLB minimum salary because picking up cheap skilled labor in a pennant race outweighs any baggage a man might be carrying for throwing his wife through a sliding glass…

I’ll get this out of the grey but in the future you really need to do more than “I read this thing one time” when citing statistics.

I strongly recommend not accepting any drinks from him.

#humouring

More people were watching C-Span than the debut of Any Given Wednesday so Bill Simmons should probably just delete his account.

But I am important.