If I hadn’t eaten my lunch before reading this, I would be cleaning my Jalapeno Salmon burger from my screens right now. This post is tremendous. I thank you good sir.

The white guy who always plays defense really wild by swinging his arms and legs everywhere but really doesn’t know how to play defense within the confines of his team. Always hounding the shit outta you but you can blow by him easily or just raise up for a shot. Just generally fucking annoying and needs to get…

Just go to the lobby bathroom. Act like a guest and just find it. It’s usually near an elevator bank. Never go to the restaurant bathroom. Don’t give these assholes the ability to deny your right to piss in a urinal when you’re twisted. One of his friends should have known better and redirected him.

Hi Josh. Welcome to Deadspin.

They’ll just get on the welfare then claim that black people are using entitlement programs to drain the economy. “Pass me that fentanyl bottle Elmer. Got some work ta do over yonder.”

2 inch hard ons don’t really count as big. Imjustsayin

Whatever. I’m tired of the fucking fake outrage. Neo Nazis roaming around with impunity. Cops still killing unarmed Americans in the streets. Flint still has no clean drinking water and Puerto Rico is still horrendously damaged from LAST YEAR’S hurricane.

That turkey just wanted to be invited home for dinner.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

The guy at the end isn’t really even all that pissed. He’s like “Pouvez-vous vous retirer de mon véhicule, s’il vous plait?”

+ 1 packet of jelly

Nah son. This might semi-pro ball where dudes are getting paid even if it is minimum wage, but coach and I would be fighting on the court, in the locker room and on the bus if he tried that bush league bullshit on my kid who is one year out of high school.

Ol pale face pancake asses need to fuck off before they get dealt with for real.

Just waiting for my account to be re-approved. Had to reset my PW.

Will do!

Even better is that Sharapova still can’t get a sniff of the finals and even if she got there, Serena would kick her ass yet again. Salty tears...keep em flowing.

I’ll punch Richard Spencer in the face the next time I see him in public. Same goes for fuckboi Stephen Miller. 

True that. If you have the last hand to bet and the two people in front of you went all in, one of them has the pocket aces and it’s fold city.

Remember this bullshit?

His bros spell their name T-R-U-M-P.