When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

I like turtles

These situations are always weird for me to deal with. On one hand, I come from the Louis CK brand of thinking which says that anything can be a joke, but on the other hand, I was raised by a grandfather who smacked the god into me if I didn't show respect for terms of that magnitude.

This is clearly Keith Olbermann's coded message to his al Qaeda operatives who are also baseball fans an get basic cable.

IH NGEGUUCTY

The Cardinals will politely win another World Series, and express their heartfelt sympathy for causing you more anger.

My $4.37 reimbursement check from work looks more professional than this.