“The phone companies have no financial interest in doing away with or blocking normal text messages. Why would they?”

I bet Alanis King’s pizza take is that she doesn’t actually like pizza

Did you see this absolutely horrifying piece from last month: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/26/nyregion/gay-trump-supporters.html

Wasn’t this the plot of a Bond movie???

These people know the truth because they only drink rain water and grain alcohol. They are able to avoid the drugs that the government puts in our drinking water to keep the rest of us docile and are able to maintain their purity of essence.

I’m just disappointed that Anson Mount didn’t get picked for Geralt.  

Narrator:  “It wasn’t.”

Thank you!  I feared the subtext would be lost.

what an equally white comparison

“We’ve been estranged”... that’s the most white, WASPy-est, chicken shit way of saying “My brother successfully Michael Bluthed his way outta the family after the pilot episode.”

“these were 3,000 incredible people. We never will let this happen again.”

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICK FROG!

Welcome to Hell World! Where the only shocking thing anymore is the frequency of comparisons of real life to Onion headlines.

I love that movie. The Wraith is a severely underrated classic!

So, it’s “Saturday Night Fever” + fill-in-the-blank.

How did this guy get un-grayed?

This may be bigger than we thought. It turns out that there were many early, unsuccessful attempts at this BMW theft scheme worldwide that only succeeded in disabling the turn signals.

“The winds, they are tearing me apart!”

It’s Bullshit! I did not hijack that plane, I did not! Oh, hi Mark!

So, you’re saying experienced a shipping error?