The one thing we know about Trump that is 100% true is, when he goes out of his way to emphasize that something is one way, then the complete opposite is true.

Wait, we’re not supposed to do ANYTHING after a tragedy, remember? Too soon, Donny... too soon.

Yup. I wonder what % we are responsible for ISIS. For Al Qaeda we were probably right around 50. I wonder if it’s higher or lower for ISIS?

Come on man, that was almost a month ago. Why should we dwell on something that’s ancient history?

If it’s not too early to talk about this, that means it’s definitely time to talk about guns and Las Vegas.

A reminder for everyone.

WAIT!!!! What happened to...

Sorry Donnie, now is not the time to discuss immigration. It’s disrespectful to the victims.

Except when the terrorist was white, because saying Radical Christian Terrorist is verboten.

“Crooked Hillary gave candy to the Russians for donating to Bengazi

What it does for social commentary is enough for me!

Weird! Did he say something unique when you tried to fight him?

And your ability to fight Morgan Freeman. I was playing as a black female and couldn’t get the fight to trigger until I changed my ethnicity.

In this story, the bottom 90% of people surround the top 10% and beat them up, for being greedy. This has never happened in America, despite the best efforts of SplinterNews.com.

That’s the “parable” part here. You, reader of this stupid fucking email, are not the rich guy. You know you’ve been getting free beers and unless you want that GRAVY TRAIN to jump the tracks you’d better keep your fucking mouth shut about these goddamn rich people tax cuts. Got it?

It’s also a neat monetary fact that, if you start with a penny and double it every day for an entire month, at the end of the month Sarah Huckabee Sanders will still be a total asshole.

I don’t care if she has bathtubs filled with coke, Harvey still shouldn’t rape people.

There is some interesting history, good and bad, between Weinstein and Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe- who is an old-fashioned backroom deal-maker. I hope there’s nothing there but I wouldn’t put anything past any of these guys.

God, “trace amounts of narcotics” is such bullshit. They recently got one of the actors from Stranger Things coming into the country on that as well. Hell doesn’t 90% of US dollars cities supposedly have “trace amounts” of cocaine on them? Remember folks nothing is worse than microscopic amounts of narcotics.