Been playing Hitman since Contracts. The game is at its best when everything goes sideways. I’m glad that they put all the levels from the last one in 2 as that game’s combat and scoring system were downright punishing. (Full disclosure I also genuinely liked Absolution so my opinion is probably void)

That article was magical. I kept thinking my jaw couldn’t drop any farther, but by the end I had to pick dirt out of my mouth.

Sorry if this has been said before, the BMW in Wheelman was a 5 series. (It was the generation where the M5 was a V10 [I don’t know their internal nomenclature like most jalops, I’m more into JDM] though it only had one exhaust outlet so it clearly wasn’t an “M”). If I’m not mistaken you could get those with a pretty…

Lol at a DMC Delorean being the cover car. Those things are barely fast enough to get a speeding ticket on the highway.

I loved him in Hell on Wheels. Please keep trying to make him a thing.

The Z32. I thought that car was sexy since before I even knew what that word meant.

That was probably one of the worst films I have ever seen... and I loved it.

Proof that we’re living in an Onion article, you tell me she wouldn’t have been a better casting choice for Mrs. Coulter in The Golden Compass. It’s even her name.

I thought we had already established that it was Tommy Wiseau?

Yeah, OSI fixed the Super Soldier serum’s side effects. Before he was taking some sort of suppression injections. 

I suddenly feel a lot better about the candidate in my fifth district writing erotic literature about Bigfoot... at least he’s not this guy.

Do yourself a favor, find a copy of the Principia Discordia. *fades back into the greys*

Um, federal taxes only cover interstate highways. Regular roads are maintained by the state. Just FYI.

I’d argue that you need a college diploma to carry a firearm. High school grads should only be issued a taser and body armor. Most British cops are unarmed and well you don’t hear about a large number of unarmed suspects over there getting shot.

There’s a Jeep that I see around my town a lot with a sticker “why you no wave?”. Suddenly that makes a lot more sense.

What’s almost worst is good luck trying to be the guy on the team telling the rest of them to knock that shit off. And people wonder why most of my friends are women or LBGTQ, most straight dudes who share my interests are downright insufferable.

I’m spit balling here but what about “Liabetic in Chief”? “Captain Liabetes”? Really that American Dad joke has just stuck with me since season one.

At least when I get fucked by a regular car salesman at the end of the day I still have a car.

Ugh, unfortunately this isn’t like the Paris Climate Accords where various cities and states can be like “no we’re still committed to this”. Of all the disastrous short sited shit he has pulled, this will go down as our greatest failure on the world stage.

I thought the joke sounded familiar, and it does explain why it was the first comment I’ve seen in a while that made me genuinely laugh. Considering I steal comedians’ jokes for conversational purposes all the time, I’m gonna stand by my decision. Besides I missed starring things.