If I could be assured I’d have a job when I got there, and I could find a nice husband to make me a citizen, I would be there with you right now.

I DESPISE the fucking holidays so much. Always makes me feel lonely as hell. This morning my yoga instructor kept mentioning it and I ended up crying through the first 15 minutes of class.

*eyeroll*

Come here and have a seat next to me because I swear we must be twins.

My friend invited me out clubbing tonite, but I declined because my face is in the middle of a MASSIVE ACNE BREAKOUT (complete with a crap ton of hyper-pigmentation), and thus unfit for human consumption.

#LOLThisBitchIsCRAZY

Some cops go for that kind of thing on purpose: doing something that causes you to flinch away from them in such a way that could be called “resisting arrest.”

This here needs to be shouted from the mountaintops (quote from 1Pomdadour):

I already felt too unattractive to ever find love again (I have the dreaded stomach-sticks-out-more-than-her-tits figure but from behind I look fairly “normal” weight)

Omg, that sounds divine.

You guys have to help me figure out this dating thing, cause I have no idea what I am doing.

Yeezus be praised.

On the one hand: Taylor, darling, people are people, not pets. Unless someone drapes him/herself over your lap, and says “want pets,” DON’T PET PEOPLE! It is super weird and annoying.

Literally thought the same thing when I saw that quote.

Dear T.I.:

I am currently reading The Autobiography of Medgar Evers: A Hero’s Life and Legacy Revealed Through His Writings, Letters and Speeches, and I came across a line that may well be pertinent to the topic at hand:

A series of thoughts currently flow through my mind . . .

Yeeeah. . . upon closer inspection, he just be trollin’. I hate engaging with people, only to find, half way through, they are just plain old bullshitting.

For real. He is alllllll up in his feel about this for some reason.

Goodness me, it must be so freeing to know you will never have to be on the business-end of this sort of thing, Bristol.