Whoa, I didn’t notice that at first. That almost rises to the level of a caress. I would think that should garner a suspension as well, no?

My favorite memory of my TI-83 was programming alegbra, geometry and calculus formulas into programs and using them on exams. Teachers were none the wiser and I killed the tests.

While I respect your youth and your drunkenness (or envy, whichever), as a Rangers fane I still have trouble considering the Astros and Rangers rivals since the Astros’ membership in the AL is still new to me. I hope a good, hate-fueled rivalry develops in the coming years.

“Brian Cashman, the team’s general manager, once said: “If you had a daughter, you’d want her to marry Derek Jeter.”

As Jedi, are you offended at the racist and insensitive portrayals of your people that occur every May 4th?

It’s all so simple. The Pittsburgh Penguins are actually an Italian soccer team!

Boy, that Aaron Hernandez just can’t stop...

I love when a commenter’s handle matches up perfectly with their comment. This is one of those times.

Correction to the correction, it was reported as an upper body injury.

That poor Marine. I can only imagine what was going through his mind at that moment. Talk about a test on keeping your bearing...

Bob Kraft looks like an Oompa Loompa.

This is the rare example of honest, earnest kinja that is enjoyable to read. Probably because I agree with you and I used to dislike Sergio. Well put.

If you look, the attacker is onside by two players, not just the deepest defender. Can’t really blame the deep guy here.

I enjoy Top Golf very much. Do I am an elitist douche?

I have a “sploosh” all locked and loaded in case he carries himself well tonight.

Is Christian Pulisic the next coming of Jesus our Lord and Savior?

I’m in the middle of The Secret Place. My wife got my hooked and now I can’t stop. If we don’t find out the answer to the big question from the first book (about Ryan’s childhood stuff) I may lose my goddamn mind.

I’m going to a beer festival with some friends next weekend in Atlantic City. Thoughts/questions/concerns?

I’m confused. Where is getting hit by a car?!?!

One glaring omission from the knives ranking: flip-open knives. I carry one every day and no matter how many times I’ve done it, I still feel like a badass when I flip that sucker open, even if I’m opening it to open a new box of diapers for my kid.