I enjoy Top Golf very much. Do I am an elitist douche?

I have a “sploosh” all locked and loaded in case he carries himself well tonight.

Is Christian Pulisic the next coming of Jesus our Lord and Savior?

I’m in the middle of The Secret Place. My wife got my hooked and now I can’t stop. If we don’t find out the answer to the big question from the first book (about Ryan’s childhood stuff) I may lose my goddamn mind.

I’m going to a beer festival with some friends next weekend in Atlantic City. Thoughts/questions/concerns?

One glaring omission from the knives ranking: flip-open knives. I carry one every day and no matter how many times I’ve done it, I still feel like a badass when I flip that sucker open, even if I’m opening it to open a new box of diapers for my kid.

I sincerely hope someone incorporates this description onto Stephen A.’s wiki page. Well done.

Did Will Gordon die? It was liver failure I bet.

This is the one week during the football season that I am 100% on board with ignoring the NFL with you.

You eat pieces of shit for breakfast???

Hey everyone! I found PFTCommenter’s new handle!

Completely agree. I’m a Texan transplanted to the northeast and I’ll even sometimes say something to people up here that are wearing gear from a Texas college or the Texas Rangers.

I have to admit, I was wondering if there was going to be any mention of Gawker’s mob land execution in this article. Good to see y’all haven’t lost your sense of humor.

This bit of garbage from Darren Rovell should be considered for an [UPDATE] to this post:

Clinton Portis didn’t so-sign as well?

This was a fantastic read. I love watching and trying to learn new sports and had taken an interest in cricket previously. Nothing I was able to find in my earlier research on cricket was as clear, succinct or interesting to read as your article. Nicely done!

Ya couldn’t have taken one for the team and gone to see Limp Bizkit back in ‘95 and saved us all a lot of trouble?

Is Will Gordon dead? Did y’all kill him and eat his pickled liver?

Follow up question: which is greater, a fuck ton of money or a metric fuck ton of money?

I’m curious. As a matter of course, is the “Deadspin Staff” tagline used when none of you are individually willing to sign off on an article but it has to be published? I’m picturing Marchman trying to feign such excitement and literally gagging as he types it.