There is a very simple solution to this question.

John Oliver is just fantastic. For those that haven’t heard of it, if you enjoy John be sure to check out his podcast The Bugle that he does with Andy Zaltzman (fuck you Chris).

Then, get this, this is literally all you have to do: Fill up the flute about three-quarters of the way full with orange juice. Fill up the rest with champagne. Goodbye.

My American sensibilities cannot accept the idea of a sport not being monopolized by one shitty, evil entity that somehow has nonprofit status.

I humbly nominate the Birds.... of War!

Is "shups" a Happy Endings reference? Please say yes!

Wild guess. What's your affiliation with the U.S. Air Force?

A bit off topic, but is there anyone on this Earth that actually pays for the care plan on a DVD or video game purchase?

A bit off topic, but is there anyone on this Earth that actually pays for the care plan on a DVD or video game…

It was*.

Most importantly, the guy in the background looks like he's rubbing his cymbal nipples and enjoying the hell out of it. #politicaldiscourse

Password is Taco

That's excellent. +1

Semper ubi sub ubi

The board can just fire Zuckerberg and tacitly give you permission to keep posting old Buzzfeed listicles on your wall.

To obtain a clean pink

Also, if you read closely, at least one side is missing the "wife" part of that scenario. But yes, that was roughly my initial guess as well.

UPDATE: Yes

No Abba Zaba??? This list is invalid!!!

As long as Snake and Drug Dealer are still around, that's fine by me.

I say any birthday in September is probably the way to go.