I need to start deploying that. I can't use the parental voice one, because our restaurant is way too small and there pretty much isn't a place that the parents would be out of earshot, but I am AWESOME at death glares.

Seriously. Please come teach a seminar to my customers.

Like what? Again, I'm not saying Jez can't be problematic, but usually comments are at least pretty good about pointing it out.

I'm just seeing this now, but I love how she kept using her anchor voice up until the very end.

"This just in: Fuck everything."

Congratulations, Alaska. You're officially a more appealing place to visit than Florida.

Jeez, guys, make us feel worse about it...

We don't like it either :/ apparently, the proper authorities have yet to be notified, though.

Yes yes yes, a thousand times yes.

Well, my mom did. My dad's still in denial about the whole thing though.

Oh, it is. They (my dad especially) have a habit of leaving their Christmas/Easter candy just laying around in their room....you best believe whenever I need some period chocolate that's going to be my first stop from now on.

Yeah, I definitely think that any adult has a position of power over a teen, at least to some extent. Age itself has some inherent power to it. But teens sleeping with teens? Definitely not rape, and nothing to fuss over (as long as they're being safe and not ridiculously young).

And yeah, I think it's important to…

Ok, you're right. "Oversight" was a terrible choice of words. I guess I should change my position to say I'm more defending the Jezebel community, who quickly raised such a fuss over that article that the Jez team felt the need to write a new one and post an apology (insincere as it may have been).

I am broadly agreeing with you, in that mature kids can have sexual experiences before they are of the age of consent, without being scarred by them. I am disagreeing with you that those experiences can take place with an adult who is in a position of power over them (which, lets be honest, is pretty much all adults)…

Yes, that article was awful and disgusting and completely missed the mark. Yes, Jez can be problematic. In this case though, at least they did post an apology and a new article. http://jezebel.com/chris-brown-di…

If someone below the age of consent engages in sexual activity with someone who is the *same age as them* they could be considered "more mature youngsters enjoying sexual freedom." If an adult in a position of power takes advantage of the children under them, it is a crime, it is wrong, and it has consequences for the…

I'm already a perfectly-placed sleeper cell in the mostly-red upper parts of Florida. I'm in!!

We don't know anything about her (making an assumption here, sorry if that's incorrect), her family, her husband or what any of the above choose to spend their money on. It's just as ignorant to assume that, just because her family has money and chose to throw a lavish wedding that everything they spend it on is…

I will never be able to spend that much on my wedding, and the idea of being able sort of boggles my mind. HOWEVER I don't get why this person is being such a jerk to you, when you've been extremely polite. You're wedding, you're money, you do your thing. And you're right, it is completely reasonable to expect people…

I think that's a bit unfair. We don't know anything about minkachupacabre or the minka family, who, while they obviously have money, could use said money in lots of decent and humanitarian ways. If they chose to spend one night on a celebration for minkachupacabre, I don't think that instance alone is necessarily…

My sister had a gorgeous wedding in a botanical gardens in spring. It was low-key and relaxed, but obviously still a wedding for goodness sakes. So everyone was in their nice slacks and dresses and stuff, and then the father of the ring bearer (the rb was the groom's nephew, and the father was dating the groom's half…

Yeah, I think that's a thing. My sister was really upset when one of her close friends, who was actually a bridesmaid, got married without even telling anyone.

I think it's sort of like when someone gives you a birthday present, even if you weren't expecting them to because you didn't think you were really all that…

For real. My best friend was supposed to get married this summer and I was going to be her MOH, then she had to do a courthouse thing with just the families and then move to a different state, because unexpected things went down. She's still planning on doing a wedding, and last I heard I'm still supposed to be MOH,…