This year I stumbled back into my house barefoot and carrying my shoes because one of my heels broke, wearing my boyfriend's hoodie over the over-the-top tutu skirt from my costume because we stayed over at friends' apartment and I forgot stuff to sleep in/wear the next day like a normal human being.

I know, I felt so terrible. The parents were super sweet about it, and they had a change of clothes with them, so we just dried him off with some towels, they changed his clothes, and he was good :)

I have relatives like this too, and I used to not call them out because they'd do the same thing. Now that I'm a waitress, I give zero fucks and say "Yes, you are embarrassing me because you're treating our server horribly when they're just trying to do their job."

I've never had to deal with shit walls or needles, but we've had at least two instances in the past 3 years (or less) of finding loaded guns without safeties (or the safety was off) just laying around in the bathroom. Most of our clients have kids, too :/

I'm a server. It's probably a good thing that no one has ever thrown anything at me, because I would probably throw it back.

I remember my parents going through all of my candy when I was little for the "suspicious" looking ones (slightly open, etc). At the time, I remember them taking away some candy that I vehemently thought was fine, but I figured they were just being extra careful because they were trying to protect my sister and I.…

Oh my god, they totally told me when I was little and living in Miami. "ALL THE BIG KIDS THAT YOU AREN'T RELATED TO ARE DRUG DEALERS AND MAYBE EVEN THE ONES YOU ARE RELATED TO DON'T DRINK THE HI-C IT'S ACTUALLY DRUGS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT NOWADAYS, DONT TAKE THE FREE CANDY ITS ACTUALLY ECSTASY AND LSD…

This was pretty much my exact reaction. If someone reveals the location of this glorious unicorn to you, will you pretty please draw me a map?

Heh. heh. heheh.

In the older Sims, I had fail-safe murder plan. Build a small room detached from the main house (so nothing gets damaged), move your Sim in there and then delete the door. Add the cheapest fireplace, rugs, plants, and lots of really big wall hangings, like curtains and tapestries. Have your Sim light the fireplace.…

I love everything in that collection, but the price tags make me weep.

I have never had this experience, and yet it seems so accurate for him. You can just tell.

Yessss.

Ooh, me! Clarinets are totally a thing in indie rock bands, right?

Heh heh heh.

Vagina spelunking.

Heh.

WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR FOUR MINUTES.

Haha, fair enough. And thanks! Apparently this guy is too, because he's definitely in his late 60s ish, but he never fails to say it that way.

"'Yes, and I like my coffee like I like my men.'"

We have a regular that comes in usually at least once a week. All the servers that have been there awhile know his order by heart (it *never* changes) but whenever someone new serves him, if they ask him which dressing he wants on his side salad, without fail he will…

At first I didn't get why people were upset; shouldn't we be happy they're offering costumes that aren't only for size sixes? Plus-sized costumes are a good thing, aren't they? And then I realized they actually called the section FAT GIRL COSTUMES. The idea that they actually said that didn't even occur to me at…

It's soo good! The first time I read it was in elementary school, and I read it every few years and it still gives me the creeps :)