I ended up having to work for Walmart a few years ago. During orientation, in addition to when the store manager came in to talk to us about why unions are bad, there was also the section on how to apply for welfare/update your existing welfare file. I kid you not.

Turkey bacon is bad, but low-fat, low sodium turkey bacon is truely the devil’s invention.

My aunt is intellectually disabled and works in one of those workshops for adults with developmental disabilities. She works 5 days a week, 6 hours a day, and last year she earned about $3000 (I know because I did her taxes last April). All perfectly legal. It’s sickening how we take advantage of those in our society…

I UNDERSTAND AND REMEMBER THAT REFERENCE!

When I was a toddler I wanted a yellow polka dot bikini, because I had heard the song and my mommy wore bikinis. Though the song is sexual-ish, none of that registered with my toddler brain. I ended up getting a yellow bikini with green polka dots, and wAs the happiest child ever. And I sang what I knew of the song…

They closed the Big Bad Wolf! *CRY*

OMG JUNKYARD WARS! My Dad and I discovered a marathon of that on one day and we could not stop watching! It was entertaining and educational. I wonder if I can find it on the internet....

My parent’s 30 year old microwave died last week. That thing was awesome and I thought it would live forever. I was legitimately upset when I found out that it stopped working.

I felt the same thing. For Shame Barbara Walters. For Shame. What she did was a serious crime, and not something to feel sympathy for, especially since Mary shows absolutely ZERO signs of remorse.

At one point during the interview last night, a story was told how one of the daughters said “if you were in X country, what you did would be legal.” I don’t think they realize how absolutely fucked up the “relationship” is.

Is the water just at the window/counter area or is it coming up from the floor as well? If it is just at the window area, dry the area off, then shove an old towel around the window edge and possibly where the counter meets the wall. That will give you a temporary solution until the landlord gets back and can…

It's a photo of Morgan Freeman, with a quote by Samuel L. Jackson, which is attributed to Denzel Washington. Cause all black people look the same.

I once called out a Catholic priest for claiming that Christmas was a 100% pure Christian holiday...while standing in front of a Christmas tree.

You are the only other person I've ever encountered who hates mint toothpaste like me.

My mother chops potatoes like that....WITH HER BARE HANDS! I cringe every time even though she's been doing it my entire life.

I once got to experience a restaurant that had an All-You-Can-Eat Prime Rib special. I don't know exactly how much beef I ate, but 3 good sized slices along with 2 baked potatoes disappeared that night into my gaping maw. It was heaven.

Cosco! Yes, I just yelled Cosco out loud in the middle of my apartment. Don't judge me.

I really want to go to this place and pull a giant bottle of ketchup out of my purse. One of those bottles you get at a Sam's Club or a BJ's or a... I forget the third major chain.

Sweet! Let's play!

I still have all my Pogs Violet. But nobody will play with me :(