You forgot Donald Trump is also a sentient dried apricot. I don't know if this is a strength or weakness.

But which one is the True Detective???

Personally I can’t talk about a few of my exes. Because when you invoke the name of a demon they tend to materialize out of thin air.

If you guys can’t stop bickering I WILL TURN THIS INTERNET RIGHT AROUND

THIS IS THE JOKE YOU GUYS

I want to find her funny but her casual racism is fucking gross and her non apology was super gross and I hate how she’s always wearing over the knee boots because they never go w her outfits.

Hannibal Buress > Amy Schumer

THIS IS A FUCKING PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME AND EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN

So...what, they’re doing their impressions of their favourite confederate soldiers?

MILF Dalai Lama

I, for one, see nothing wrong with the Patriot Act that would increase video surveillance of everything.

- Russell, did Golden Tate fuck your wife?

OMG YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT. COmpletely missed that they're each in the YA franchise movies. Still mad he got killed off. He was really good!

Yeah, she needs to ride in on a giant lion and spew fireworks everywhere just to be mildly interesting. As it was, after that I only looked up from my phone to watch Lenny and Missy.

I just tried to imagine waking up and seeing this first thing in the morning and I blacked out for 20 seconds

Either her contract is up soon or her contract is bulletproof.