I am so, so, so, so thankful for the beautiful, grassy, tree-filled dog park with doggy water fountations that we have here in South Florida.

I was almost too distracted by how pretty both of them are to read the story. Almost. Then I read the story and was disgusted by how stupid much of America is.

Uh, actually it was Amy Poehler who said that, not Leslie Knope. No need to give a fictional character credit when a real life human deserves it.

Ah. LOL. Too focused on the dog. And the bread. Mmmm. Carbs.

That sounds...amazing. Oh my god. Maryland isn't that far of a drive from South Florida!

Pshhhh. My dog literally strategizes her food stealing. I'll get my plate of food ready and as soon as I sit down at the table, she'll put her two paws onto counter and paw at something there. As soon as I get up to get her off, she runs as fast as she can to the table and takes my food. Little booger.

I think it's a loaf of bread, no?

It's all fine and dandy to make a comment saying "HOW COULD NOBODY HELP THIS MAN?????" but the fact of the matter is that I'm not 100% sure that I would have, either. The honest to god truth is that I probably would have been one of those who wrote him off as drunk, crazy, homeless, or a combination of the three. It's…

I didn't say pointless cat video.

I'm confused because she openly admits the fact that minority students score lower on tests because they don't have access to the same privileges as white people, yet still asserts that admitting minorities indicates a lowering of the school's standards.

I'd have to drink a solid four bottles by myself to get that drunk off wine.

Don't discount yourself because of your age. I'm nine years older than you and you said it better than I could.

This might be the most pointless video ever posted on Jez.

If the guy was a lot older than 15, he DID deserve criminal charges — regardless of whether you "knew what you were doing" or not.

I don't watch 30 Rock, so can someone explain why everyone was wearing yellow and blue?

She used to be so gorgeous. And clearly happy.

The best thing Sacha could do is show up as himself just to fuck with everyone.

I don't actually agree with...any of these, really.

Jezebel, anti-body shaming royalty, is commenting on a woman's choice to have her boobs done for self-esteem reasons? I have a real problem with that.

What vitamin does my body want when I'm craving McDonalds?