The best moment of this episode (and it's a good one) is Homer's slow grin when Bart reveals his mystery date.

How can you review this episode without spending at least half the review talking about the ivory dealer bit?

A friend of mine says they should just replace him with Jeffrey Tambor and never even acknowledge it. I think it's a good idea.

A friend of mine says they should just replace him with Jeffrey Tambor and never even acknowledge it. I think it's a good idea.

You mean beyond the fact that much of Timrod's poetry celebrates the birth of the Confederacy? And that it is very, very bad? Bob can afford to be more choosy.

You mean beyond the fact that much of Timrod's poetry celebrates the birth of the Confederacy? And that it is very, very bad? Bob can afford to be more choosy.

I'd be more concerned with the fact that the poet he has apparently been lifting from, Henry Timrod, has been described as poet laureate of the Confederacy. Also, he's not a very good poet. (Yes, Bob, I've heard of him. Unfortunately.)

I'd be more concerned with the fact that the poet he has apparently been lifting from, Henry Timrod, has been described as poet laureate of the Confederacy. Also, he's not a very good poet. (Yes, Bob, I've heard of him. Unfortunately.)

I find it highly dubious that anyone will ever come close to Robert Barron's rousing portrayal. Party on, dudes.

I find it highly dubious that anyone will ever come close to Robert Barron's rousing portrayal. Party on, dudes.

There's something perverse about throwing dead chickens at a live chicken who is apparently intelligent enough to (convincingly) pose as a ballet dancer.

There's something perverse about throwing dead chickens at a live chicken who is apparently intelligent enough to (convincingly) pose as a ballet dancer.

"One day 15 years from now, someone is going to write an article about sitcoms in the year 2012 and how they ushered in an era of awkwardness on comedy television."

This is my all-time favourite Christmas special, the one without which Christmas is not complete. I'm always hugely disappointed when I see a Muppet Christmas on TV or DVD and learn it isn't the Muppet FAMILY Christmas, a heartbreak exceeded only by buying the show on VHS one year to find that great swaths of it had…