Here’s what really grosses me out: I could do the same thing (crack an egg and leave it there on the counter) and not touch it for two weeks. Yes, it will stink like sulfur, but it won’t have fruitflies, maggots and anything other than maybe a little mold.

Really? I had Taco Bell fries 5 or 6 years ago in San Juan (they’ve always sold fries there because Puerto Ricans fucking love fried starches like no place on earth. Yes, really.) and they were okay-to-mildly-bland. You telling me they upped their seasoning game?

See, what you don’t get is the great fat divide between kids, dogs, guinea pigs and things like cats, ferrets and teenage boys is that the former stink individually. The latter stink up whole houses. When I was house shopping, I knew the cat houses the moment the front door was opened. It’s pervasive to the point you…

See, what you don’t get is the great fat divide between kids, dogs, guinea pigs and things like cats, ferrets and…

It’s “down pat”. I can’t tell you why. No one can. It’s a mystery where that idiom came from. It just is.

It’s “down pat”. I can’t tell you what it’s “pat”, know one seems to know, but that’s the correct idiom.

Get rid of the cat. Not only is it getting poop grit in your sheets but it’s making your whole house smell like cat piss.

Get rid of the cat. Not only is it getting poop grit in your sheets but it’s making your whole house smell like cat…

Guy Fieri, definitely. Send that fish to Flavor Town in a pool of donkey sauce.

Yeah, the Theil offense doesn’t work against the pride and joy of the world’s richest man.

Unseasoned chicken wings and potato salad with raisins?

Good fortune to be born in America? Remember the old saying “Eat your food, there’s children starving in China?” The Chinese now say “Eat your food, there’s starving children in America”.

Which is ironic because, traditionally, the closer you were to death the closer you were to god.

Whoah...no oil? What will I sautee my veggies in? I’m supposed to skip meat (okay, fine) and do what...eat boiled veggies all month?

Counterpoint: Julius Ceaser was able to mortally wound the Roman Republic because the Senate became so sclerotic that they couldn’t fix a fucking calender that was off by a whole season.

It’s not necessary, but if/when the choice is made to kill it one needs to be as strategic as possible when you do it. You get one shot, because if you miss your mark you’re getting in the ass when the tables turn again. You will be punished by the opposition. You will probably be punished by voters.

I’m preferential to letting Trump walk in, start shaking hands, only to be manhandled back out by the House Sergeant-at-Arms. Clips of Pelosi ordering “remove the president” would be in every documentary of this decade (or administration) ever made.

This email is actually in-line with the White House’s declared policy on political activity. It’s horse shit, but they’ve been consistently shitty about worker’s first amendment rights.

No, this administration has taken “political activity” and tried to turn the phrase into meaning “anything the administration disagrees with or finds inconvenient”. The term was traditionally interpreted rather tightly. You were not in violation of the Hatch act unless you’re using your position to work for candidates…

Counterpoint: Remotes were common in the 80's (the decade of Peak Trump) and even Adderall-ed out past-expiration date Trump figured out Twitter.

This is true. My in-laws are super republican, and the most my conversations go with them are like

“Chop” is either a specific knife technique, or a term so vague it’s only synonymous with “cut”. If you want to be that loose, you can’t make a stink over OP, because “chopping an onion into rings” is perfectly cromulent. It’s (again) synonymous with “cutting an onion into rings”. Saying “X is not chopping while Y is”…